I haven’t touched alcohol since Christmas. Before that, it was Halloween. And before that? Last summer. As I distance myself from wine, it increasingly feels toxic to my system. I’ve made the decision to quit drinking altogether.
My friends who love their wine might be shocked. (And no, I’m not judging them—let’s be kind here!) Back in high school, I watched my peers get swept away by the party scene. For a few hours, it was all fun and games, but then the tears flowed, fights broke out, and someone would inevitably make a mess in the laundry room, much to the dismay of their unsuspecting parents.
Witnessing that chaos made drinking lose its appeal for me. I caught a lot of flak from classmates for not joining in. “Why even show up?” they’d ask. “Are you too good for us?”
Eventually, as my senior year wrapped up, peer pressure and curiosity got the best of me. I hopped on the party train, indulging heavily and suffering the consequences, like throwing up and passing out. I can share wild stories—like the time I swam in alligator-infested waters or flashed bartenders for free drinks—but the darker side of drinking soon became apparent through a couple of alcoholic relationships. I flirted with codependency, realizing it could swallow me whole.
Given my family history with alcoholism, I count myself fortunate for escaping without severe repercussions. Once my phase of experimentation wrapped up, I easily walked away from heavy drinking.
As I transitioned into adulthood, I distanced myself from the party crowd, naturally lowering my alcohol intake to what society deemed acceptable. My consumption dwindled even more during my pregnancies and while nursing. For years, just a couple of glasses of wine here and there sufficed—mostly during quiet evenings with the neighbors or at social gatherings.
About two years ago, I took up writing. Late-night sessions while the kids were asleep became my routine, and I quickly found that I couldn’t write effectively if I was tipsy. So, I swapped that evening glass of wine for pouring my thoughts into my laptop. Over time, I lost my taste for alcohol and the effects it had on me.
I realized I no longer enjoyed intentionally impairing myself. Life can feel chaotic enough without the added fog of intoxication. Plus, as someone prone to saying the wrong thing, having a few drinks only increases the likelihood of verbal slip-ups. I want to avoid giving anyone the impression that I’m being rude or inconsiderate.
Just the sight of a wine list gives me a headache. I make for a terrible hungover person (I’m equally graceful when dealing with the common cold). I have zero interest in wasting days feeling ill due to my own choices.
Eliminating alcohol has significantly improved my mood stability. Now I only have to contend with the joys of PMS! When a rough day hits, I’ve discovered that kicking back without a drink is just as relaxing—minus the hangover.
It feels liberating to embrace my awkwardness in social situations without reaching for a drink to ease my discomfort. Peer pressure may still exist at 35, but it’s more subtle. At gatherings, people often expect a drink in hand. When I politely decline, I get surprised reactions. Friends sometimes think I’m joking when I mention I’m enjoying a virgin cocktail.
The biggest change is how I respond to peer pressure now. In my youth, I desperately wanted to fit in. Today, I couldn’t care less if someone thinks I’m uncool for not drinking. What’s more, my relationships are healthier and less affected by these choices.
The “mommy needs a drink” culture is pervasive, often amusing, and likely exaggerated for effect. On the other end, there are those who abstain for religious reasons or because they’re in recovery, which is widely respected. But what about those of us who simply prefer a non-drinking lifestyle? Is there anyone else out there who feels the same?
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In conclusion, it’s entirely possible to thrive in the mommy community without relying on alcohol. Embracing a sober lifestyle can lead to deeper connections, improved mental health, and a more authentic experience in social settings.