One late afternoon, I found myself immersed in my work at the kitchen table. Suddenly, the garden doors burst open, and in walked my eldest son, Lucas, cheeks flushed with excitement and a helmet slightly askew on his head. “Mom!” he exclaimed, but my gaze was glued to the screen. “Mom!” he tried again, “I can ride a bike!” That got my attention.
Two years prior, we had bought him a shiny new bike for his fifth birthday. It was a size larger because Lucas is tall for his age. The store attendant had assured us it would be a good investment—room to grow, he said. However, it turned out to be a misjudgment. Lucas, while tall, tends to be cautious. Our early attempts at riding the bike involved him wobbling unsteadily while I gripped the back of his seat, my heart racing as gravity threatened to take over.
After a few outings, we both lost motivation. Rainy autumn turned into an even rainier winter, and the bike sat neglected, becoming just another object collecting dust and rust. Meanwhile, life changed drastically with the arrival of twins, and I found it hard to manage even my own wardrobe, let alone teach Lucas how to ride. He started finding other activities to enjoy outside, ones that didn’t require my involvement.
As children grow, there’s an inevitable process of letting go. Sometimes this happens gradually, marked by the passing of birthdays. Other times, it’s accelerated by circumstances—like two newborns taking center stage in the household. I found myself tucking Lucas in at night, often hearing snippets of stories from days gone by that felt both familiar and distant. The once tight bond between us began to loosen, and I realized he was evolving without me.
That summer, Lucas made new friends, which was a significant achievement for him. Our home was situated in a development that led directly to the neighboring yards where several boys his age lived. Initially hesitant, we finally decided to let him venture out on his own. With every passing day, he would come home from school and join his new friends outside, playing games and riding bikes of all shapes and sizes—some with training wheels and others without, including balance bikes designed to help kids learn to ride by mastering balance.
This scenario perfectly illustrates the essence of parenting. We can either support our children as they learn to navigate the world, allowing them to find their own balance, or we can hold them up, giving them a sense of security that might ultimately inhibit their growth. I often reflect on how I used to rush Lucas through his milestones, like when he was 13 months old and showed no interest in walking. I would drag him around the room, thinking I was helping him, not realizing I was projecting my own impatience.
Eventually, Lucas took his first steps, and I was there to witness it, just as I was when he mastered using the potty and buttoning his clothes. But nothing compared to the joy I felt when he burst through the garden doors, beaming with pride as he showed me his newfound skill of riding a bike—an accomplishment he had achieved on his own. It was a bittersweet realization that while I had missed this milestone, the joy he found in his independence was far greater.
The beauty of parenting lies in recognizing that while the moments we share during their first achievements are precious, the milestones they reach on their own can be even more fulfilling. If you’re interested in more parenting insights, check out this great resource for family-related topics.
Summary:
This piece reflects on the bittersweet journey of parenting as children grow and achieve milestones independently. It highlights the joy of witnessing a child’s accomplishments, especially when they learn to navigate challenges on their own, as exemplified by Lucas learning to ride a bike. The narrative emphasizes the importance of allowing children the space to grow, fostering their independence while maintaining a loving connection.