Over the past year, I’ve observed the reactions of friends and family to various pregnancy announcements—including my own—and I’ve come to recognize that most women respond in one of five distinct ways. Understanding these reactions is crucial, as they often hint at how supportive (or unsupportive) someone will be during your journey into motherhood.
Are you prepared for that one friend who will offer unsolicited advice that you’ll wish you could toss into a blender? Or the one who will shame you for every parenting choice you make? Knowing what to expect can help you navigate these interactions. So, who do you think she might be?
1. The ‘Your Life Has Purpose’ Friend
This friend seems to believe that your existence only gains value once you become a parent. Before my daughter was born, I had a successful career, wrote several books, and enjoyed life to its fullest. Yet, I was stunned when some women told me that none of it mattered because motherhood is the ultimate achievement.
Fast-forward to when your little one is a few weeks old, and be prepared for any concerns you share to be met with dismissive comments. When I was exhausted from sleepless nights, these were the friends who’d say, “Well, aren’t you lucky to even hold him?” It’s tempting to fantasize about telling them off, but deep breaths!
2. The ‘Your Life Is Over’ Friend
While your life may have newfound significance, this friend will be quick to inform you that it’s also over. “You’ll never sleep again, or have a moment to yourself!” she declares, usually while juggling her own noisy kids. In your fragile state, it’s easy to absorb her negativity, but resist that temptation.
Motherhood is challenging, but it doesn’t mean the joy is gone forever. And if you talk to her three months in, when you’re knee-deep in diapers, she’ll just say, “Get used to it,” leading you to imagine your child in diapers at 16. Not the case!
3. The ‘Live Your Life’ Friend
This friend’s go-to answer for everything is a drink. When you break the news of your pregnancy, she likely cheers, “Congrats! Have a cocktail!” She’s the type who believes that everything will be fine if you take life lightly.
While her advice might not be the best for pregnancy, she’ll be the first to bring you a bottle of wine once you’re dealing with a teething baby. Cheers to those friends who know how to support you during the tough times!
4. The ‘Enough About Your Life’ Friend
When you tell this gal that you’re expecting, brace yourself for a lengthy monologue about her own pregnancy experiences. “Congratulations! Have you had morning sickness? Oh, when I was pregnant with my little angel…” And before you know it, you’re sitting there nodding while she takes over the conversation completely.
This trend doesn’t stop after your baby arrives; everything your child does will merely serve as a segue into her own stories. Steer clear of her during your pregnancy, and only engage when there’s wine or a neutral third party.
5. The ‘Make Life Easier’ Friend
Finally, you’ll meet the friend who you’ll cherish like no other. She’ll simply say, “Congratulations! How are you feeling?” and genuinely care about your well-being. This friend is the one who shows up with meals after you return from the hospital, listens to your fears, and celebrates every milestone with you.
I was lucky enough to have several friends like this after my daughter was born, and I hope you find your support network too! Pregnancy is a wild journey—embrace the good, and don’t let the negative voices get you down.
In conclusion, the reactions you receive from those around you can be as varied as your own experiences. Understanding these types can prepare you for what’s ahead. If you’re curious about more topics related to pregnancy and home insemination, check out this post for more insights on the journey. Remember, it’s all about surrounding yourself with the right people!