Updated: Dec. 18, 2015
Originally Published: May 9, 2014
What my mother instilled in me often revolves around whispers, hushed tones, dimly lit spaces, and the gentle grasp of an elbow.
She taught me that the best gingerbread comes from a mix of blackstrap molasses, perfected the day after Thanksgiving.
Laundry was another of her lessons. Though it felt endless, she showed me how it could be draped over a rope, a branch, or even the back of an Adirondack chair. We’d wring it out in the sink, hang it on the shower rod, or even pass it through hand-cranked rollers beneath the birch trees by the lake, where we washed our summer clothes in the cool water.
We could dry laundry in a brand new Kenmore dryer, filled with a dispenser of golden fragrance that forever captures the scent of freshly dried t-shirts. I remember my mother standing over the washer, tears held back as she clutched the white enamel edge of the top loader. She couldn’t find the words to express her sorrow, which I later learned was due to the loss of her sister’s newborn—crib death, a term that was foreign to me at the time.
She taught me that even the most chaotic baskets of socks, underwear, and tank tops could be transformed into impressively neat piles. There was a certain pride in putting these items away promptly before the tower of blue jeans toppled over, which would undo all her hard work—a “just a shame,” she would call it.
Beyond laundry and recipes, she imparted wisdom about energy, time, and legacy. As life draws to a close, your daughters may resemble you, laugh like you, master the art of turkey gravy just like you, and set a table adorned with napkins and candles in your signature style. Yet, they may remain unaware of the deeper you—the one that stood at doorways, gazing into dimly lit rooms where unspeakable emotions are tucked away, folded neatly into the corners of a heart.
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In summary, my mother’s lessons were woven into the fabric of everyday life, blending practicality with profound emotional truths that continue to resonate within me.