No matter how much you strive to maintain a clear boundary between your professional and personal life, they inevitably intertwine like the relentless ebb and flow of the ocean. When I returned to work last year, armed with aspirations of being a powerhouse in my career, I underestimated the lasting impact that years of full-time motherhood have had on my identity. You can take the mom out of the home, but you can’t erase the mom from the woman. Here’s a lighthearted look at some unmistakable signs that you’re the mom at the office:
-
You grab a random piece of scrap paper for note-taking during a meeting, only to discover it’s the alert about chicken pox and lice from your child’s school. “What are you writing on? OH NO! Does anyone else feel itchy?!”
-
You find yourself using a pen adorned with a wild-haired troll as the eraser—not out of irony, but simply because it’s the only working pen in your bag. (Let’s be real: I’ve resorted to crayons, scented markers, and even #2 pencils before. Why do my kids covet that troll pen but only reach for my black Bic?)
-
Sometimes you accidentally refer to your team as your kids.
-
You channel your best toddler crisis management techniques to pacify an upset colleague. “Shhh, let’s sit over here and have a snack. Feeling better now? Good job!”
-
In the heat of the moment, you find yourself cycling through fifteen names while trying to get someone’s attention, including your children’s names, pets, and even cartoon characters. “Billy, Sandy, Dora, Peter Rabbit—oh for goodness’ sake, what’s your name again? You forgot your notebook!”
-
You secretly rejoice when your coworkers are hungover from a night out, simply because it means you’re no longer the only one in the office sporting dark circles under your eyes. (Surely our kids will eventually sleep through the night… right?)
-
You often linger in the office past 5 PM because it’s the only place you can find some peace and quiet. (A shout-out to my daycare for staying open until 6 PM!)
-
On that note, you actually look forward to Mondays because they signal a return to a quieter environment.
-
When your colleagues discuss the TV shows they watched last night, you’re the only one who pipes up with “Nick Jr.”
-
When management needs a project completed on short notice, with no budget and minimal oversight, you’re the first one they call. (After juggling two children, two schools, and a whirlwind of extracurriculars, what’s one more work project?)
Maybe being the mom in the office isn’t such a bad gig after all.
For more insights on parenting and related topics, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination. And if you’re looking for ways to boost fertility, this site is an authority on the subject.
In conclusion, embracing the quirks of being a mom in the workplace can add a unique flair to your professional life while keeping it lighthearted.