It’s frustrating to read parenting articles that suggest the simplest expressions we use with our kids are all wrong. I’ve come across numerous parenting magazines that give parents a hard time for saying or doing things that are pretty standard. Here’s a list of phrases that are often discouraged by these publications, along with my take on them.
-
“Great Job.”
Praising your child with phrases like “Good girl” or “Way to go!” frequently can lead to them relying on external validation rather than developing intrinsic motivation. Instead, focus on specific feedback. Rather than saying, “Awesome play,” try, “I really liked how you assisted your teammate.”
But let’s be real, when my kid wipes her own bottom, I’m not going to pull out a flowery analysis. I’ll stick with “Great job,” because, honestly, I’m too busy managing the chaos of toddlerhood. -
“Practice makes perfect.”
While practice does help improvement, this phrase can put undue pressure on your child to excel. Instead, encourage them to take pride in their progress rather than striving for perfection.
Sure, let’s treat our kids like they’re incapable of understanding that practice is part of learning. If they don’t become the next sports star, it’s not the end of the world. -
“You’re okay.”
When your child hurts themselves, it’s instinctive to reassure them they’re fine, but this can sometimes dismiss their feelings. Acknowledging their emotions is crucial. Try saying, “That fall was scary.”
Honestly, kids fall and whine constantly. Saying they’re okay reassures them and helps them learn to self-soothe. For example, my daughter Clara used to get up after a tumble and say, “I okay.” How is that a bad thing? -
“Hurry up!”
When your little one is sluggish at breakfast or getting dressed, urging them to hurry can create stress. Instead, use a collaborative tone like, “Let’s hurry.” You can even turn it into a game, like racing to get dressed.
But seriously, who has time for games when you need to leave the house? Sometimes a firm “Hurry up!” is just what’s needed to get everyone moving. -
“I’m on a diet.”
Discussing dieting in front of your child can negatively affect their body image. Instead, focus on healthy eating habits, like saying, “I’m excited to eat nutritious food.”
This point is valid, but the tone can be a bit preachy. -
“We can’t afford that.”
When your child requests the latest toy, saying you can’t afford it might signal a lack of control over finances. Instead, express that you’re prioritizing savings for more important things.
Really? Saying you can’t afford something is just being honest about budgeting. If anything, it teaches kids about financial awareness. -
“Don’t talk to strangers.”
This advice can be confusing for kids, as they might misinterpret it and refuse help from familiar faces, like police officers. Instead, discuss specific scenarios to guide their understanding.
Of course, caution is important, but let’s not create a world where kids fear everyone they don’t know. -
“Be careful.”
Saying this while your child is climbing or balancing can distract them and increase the risk of falling. Instead, stay calm and support them quietly.
I get the point, but I think there’s a balance between letting kids learn and ensuring they don’t hurt themselves. -
“No dessert unless you finish your dinner.”
This phrase can create a negative association with meals and treats. Reword it to: “Let’s eat our meal first, then we can have dessert.”
Sure, but if they leave the table hungry, you’ll regret it later when they’re up all night complaining. -
“Let me help.”
When your child is struggling with a task, jumping in too soon can hinder their independence. Instead, ask guiding questions to help them find solutions on their own.
Honestly, with three kids, I don’t have time to intervene every time they struggle. Sometimes, it’s just survival mode.
In summary, while parenting advice from magazines can feel overwhelming and unrealistic, it’s essential to find a balance that works for you. Parenting is a journey filled with ups and downs, and sometimes the best approach is simply to keep it real.
For more insights into parenting and fertility, check out this article on home insemination. And if you’re considering options for conception, visit Make A Mom for expert guidance. Additionally, Medical News Today provides excellent resources on fertility.