Among the many truths about parenting, one stands out for my family: it’s a total gamble. My partner and I have experimented with various parenting philosophies. We embraced the natural parenting vibe, tried co-sleeping, and even adopted a “no” avoidance strategy. We even dipped our toes into spanking, time-outs, and a reward system that included toy cars and sweets for good behavior.
But now, we’re exhausted. Our kids often team up against us, and we’ve decided to abandon the parenting methods that leave us feeling miserable. We don’t resort to spanking, but we do let a few choice words slip (often… okay, all the time). And while they’re not directed at the kids, anyone within earshot of our home between 2:30 PM and 7:30 PM might think I’m an ardent believer in something fervent.
Our four-year-old son, a little verbal dynamo, has flourished in an environment where we communicate honestly instead of speaking down to him. By the age of two, he could distinguish between “May I?” and “Can I?” His impressive vocabulary has wowed family, friends, and even our pediatrician. We couldn’t be prouder!
So, you can imagine my delight when my little wordsmith decided to showcase his unique spin on a classic knock-knock joke in front of Grandma:
Four Year-Old: “Knock-knock”
Me: “Who’s there?”
Four Year-Old: “Bitch!”
Me: “Whaaaaa?!”
Four Year-Old: “You didn’t say knock-knock!”
Me: (holding back tears from laughter and shock, while also desperately curious) “Uh, Bitch, erm…who?”
Four Year-Old: “Bitch been knocking out here all day!”
Me: (in a mix of horror and amusement)
The original joke he had memorized (and repeated with enthusiasm) sounded like this:
Four Year-Old: Knock-knock
Me: Who’s there?
Four Year-Old: Ben
Me: Ben who?
Four Year-Old: Ben knocking out here all day!
In the wake of that little performance, I experienced a wave of parenting shame like never before. I could sense Grandma’s bewilderment about what happens in our household. A flurry of sheepish explanations ensued.
Once we were home, and the embarrassment faded, I retold the incident to my partner, and we burst into laughter. We also recognized a vital lesson: we needed to watch our language around the kids. Now, while we still let loose with the occasional swear word, it’s reserved for after the kids are asleep, during our much-needed wind-down time with a glass of wine.
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In summary, parenting can feel like a wild ride filled with unexpected moments. As we navigate through the chaos of raising children, we learn valuable lessons, often in the most humorous ways.