“Oh my goodness! She is absolutely precious!” I don’t even need to glance up from the cereal box I’m examining to know which of my three daughters has caught the woman’s attention.
“Where does she get that gorgeous strawberry hair? And those big brown eyes…” Her voice drifts off as she becomes entranced by my daughter’s striking appearance. “Actually, red hair is a recessive trait, so my husband and I must have inherited it from our families,” I reply politely, trying to ignore the fact that I just had this exact conversation ten minutes ago in the next aisle. I’m certain I’ll have it at least one more time before I finish my grocery shopping.
I glance at my other two daughters, who sport caramel-colored hair and lighter eyes. They both resemble my husband and me, but my middle daughter looks like a whimsical cherub—almost too perfect to be true.
The compliments about her looks began the moment she was born, with nurses cooing over her, and they haven’t stopped since.
Wherever we go, it’s the same story.
- She’s just … I’ve never seen a baby so flawless!
- She should be on the cover of a magazine!
- She’s the most adorable of your kids … and she knows it.
Don’t get me wrong—each of my daughters is beautiful, but that one…
All three of my girls have had the same teachers, yet my middle daughter seems to enjoy a few more privileges. Everyone assumes she has a sweet personality simply because of her looks. “Wow, what a little darling, and so clever!” they’ll exclaim while she picks her nose at church.
She’s often chosen for speaking roles in plays, engages in more conversations, and at blogging events, PR representatives always pull her aside for photos.
This is all new to me; I’ve never had a child whose appearance commands attention like this. As Amy Poehler would say, my strength lies in my personality. This meant that during my single days, I would hover near the restroom until my friends got free drinks, then pop out and become the designated chatterbox to help the poor guy escape.
Now, being slightly less than conventionally attractive isn’t all bad. I had to cultivate my personality to connect with friends, my parents never fretted over me announcing a teenage pregnancy, and I’ve probably saved thousands on pageant outfits throughout my life. But let’s face it—beautiful people have it easier in many ways. Whether it’s dating, making friends, or job hunting, attractiveness plays a significant role. A 2013 Business Insider study revealed that attractive job candidates were 24% more likely to receive an interview callback than those deemed less attractive.
However, there are some challenges that come with my daughter’s beauty. I’ve had people jokingly offer to buy her (I think they were kidding, but on a tough day, I might consider it), ask if they can take her picture (uh, no), and I’ve even caught people discreetly filming her (let’s just say they won’t be doing that again).
I’m unsure how to navigate my parenting role in all this. Of course, I appreciate the compliments, but I don’t want them to inflate her ego or, worse yet, make my other two daughters feel insecure about their looks.
Should I downplay it?
- “Wow! She’s so cute!”
- “Meh. I’ve seen better.”
Or should I emphasize my other daughters’ attributes? Perhaps hold them up like show dogs and display their healthy gums? But look at the shiny coat on this one!
For now, I suppose I’ll just continue to smile, express gratitude, and explain basic genetics to strangers. However, one day, I am definitely going to teach them how to use teamwork to score free drinks.
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In summary, raising a child who garners so much attention for her looks can be both a joy and a challenge. While I value the compliments that come her way, I also strive to ensure that my other daughters feel equally cherished and appreciated.