A friend of mine recently joked that we should discuss how our ability to chat on the phone has vanished since becoming mothers. While it was said in humor, it’s undeniably true. Since entering motherhood, my phone communication skills have plummeted. Pre-baby, I was the one saying, “Hey (friend’s name), want to have an epic chat about everything and nothing?” Now, I’m that person who dials you up in a hurried whisper, either because my little one is wide awake and I only have a few moments before she demands my attention (not a fan of sharing), or she’s asleep, and I’m tiptoeing around, praying for a nap that lasts longer than 20 minutes.
I genuinely want to connect! I want to chat with everyone, discuss life, ask about their day, or even inquire about what they had for lunch. Unfortunately, my small, toothless sidekick has other ideas. Here’s why I can’t pick up the phone right now:
- I planned to call you, but the baby had a massive spit-up episode that required immediate cleanup. While I was at it, I noticed the floors were disgracefully dirty, so I ended up mopping them. Then, of course, the baby started crying because her world had been disrupted for ten whole minutes, so I had to entertain her.
- The baby is napping, which means I have a tight window of 30 minutes to an hour to tackle my to-do list: shower, do laundry, tidy up toys, clean the kitchen, and more. Instead, I found myself sulking on the couch, overwhelmed by the mountain of chores waiting for me, and unable to reach out to friends.
- It’s evening now, and the baby is finally asleep. All I want is to zone out in front of some mindless TV. Even the thought of calling you to chat about that feels too taxing for my tired brain.
- I intended to call you… but then I got caught up in my to-do list and suddenly it’s 10 PM. I need to sleep before the baby wakes up for her midnight feeding.
- I lost track of time scrolling through Facebook, Instagram, or some celebrity gossip site. Oops!
- I decided that eating in peace was more appealing than a phone conversation.
- My husband also wants to have a chat, and I made a commitment to him (yes, there was a ring involved, so it’s serious).
- Honestly, I have no idea where I left my phone. It could be anywhere!
- My boss, a tiny tyrant, is incredibly demanding. She’s always saying, “Play with me! Sing with me! Read to me! Let’s go to the park!” There’s absolutely no work/life balance when the toothless one is in charge.
- I feel like I have nothing interesting to contribute, and I’m exhausted. This combination usually leads to a conversation that goes like this:
You: “Hey! How are you?”
Me: “I’m good, you?”
You: “Great! What’s new?”
Me: “Not much. You?”
You: (Insert something exciting)
Me: “Cool!”
You: (More exciting updates)
Me: “That sounds great!”
You: “Okay, I gotta go, talk later!”
Me: “Okay, bye!”
You: (Thinking: Was she always this dull?)
Me: (Thinking: Come on, I’m not that boring! I need to step it up.)
Honestly, I care about you too much to subject you to that.
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Summary:
In this lighthearted take on modern motherhood, I share the many reasons I can’t seem to answer the phone since becoming a mom. From unexpected messes to nap-time chaos and a demanding little boss, my phone conversations have taken a back seat. Despite my desire to connect, the reality of motherhood often leaves me overwhelmed and exhausted.