Cleaning while managing kids can feel like trying to tidy up during a storm—utterly chaotic! My friend once shared that cleaning with children around is akin to battling a whirlwind, and she wasn’t wrong. These days, keeping my house in order requires heaps of patience, bursts of energy, a selective memory (to forget the mess as I go), and, of course, some chocolate and TV as incentives. Ready to dive into the whirlwind? Here’s your guide to a cleaner home:
Step 1:
Gather the kids and firmly remind them that juice spills, sandwich tosses at the dog, and Lego explosions are strictly off-limits. Use your best stern voice while trying to hold onto your sanity!
Step 2:
Tackle the dishes. Let’s be honest; this chore ranks among the least enjoyable. Instead of tossing them in the trash (just kidding!), wash them quickly or load the dishwasher if you have the luxury of space. You might even find yourself cursing under your breath about the pile of dishes that seems to grow after every meal.
Step 3:
Time for laundry! I’m not a fan of this task. It feels like I’m doing at least four loads every day. Forget about sorting—just shove in as much as you can fit. Your time is limited, and you can’t let the kids’ favorite show distract you from your mission.
Step 4:
Let the kids know it’s time for lunch and that the TV needs a break. They might be excited to help, which usually results in a delightful mess in the kitchen. As you survey the sticky counters and realize the dog is munching on your child’s plate, take a deep breath and reach for a piece of chocolate to keep your spirits up.
Step 5:
As the kids munch on their lunch, zip through the kitchen to clean up the remains of the lunch chaos. Head to the bathroom, switch out the trash, and pick up any stray towels or clothes your partner left on the floor. Don’t forget to give the toilet a quick scrub—bonus points for tossing in one of those freshening tablets!
Step 6:
Clean the kitchen again after the kids’ “help” turned it into a mini water park. Try not to slip as you navigate the new puddles forming on the floor! Keep your cool; you still have vacuuming to do.
Step 7:
Tell the kids they can run outside once you finish up. In the meantime, turn on the TV for a bit of peace. Grab the vacuum and start cleaning up the mess. While the kids are making noise, remind yourself that you’re tougher than any mess that comes your way.
Step 8:
Midway through vacuuming, the washing machine sounds like a drum solo gone wrong. Rush to the laundry room, fix the imbalance, and return to your cleaning. Just as you settle back in, the kids might be squabbling over the remote, and your cat decides to leave a surprise near the front door.
Step 9:
Pour yourself a glass of wine—it’s well-deserved!
Step 10:
Forget about cleaning for a moment! Join the kids outside for some fun and take a much-needed break. Maybe check out a story on home insemination at Intracervical Insemination while you’re at it, or consider visiting Make a Mom for insight on self insemination. And don’t forget to look at UCSF’s Fertility Information for great resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
Cleaning doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Follow these ten straightforward steps, and your home can look like a masterpiece—if you’re aiming for the “just survived an asteroid strike” aesthetic. Next time someone comments on your cleaning struggles, just smile and say, “Not at my place!”