Recently, we embarked on the daunting adventure of taking our little one on a long international flight. Whenever we shared our vacation plans, we were met with a mixture of excitement, inquiries about who would be babysitting, and then sheer disbelief that we were bringing our child along. Initially, we thought they were being overly dramatic—perhaps even judgmental. Turns out, we couldn’t have been more mistaken.
Here are the characters we encountered during our journey, many of whom we’ve met on subsequent flights:
- The Businessman Without Kids: He’s sitting right next to you, determined to use the flight to get some work done or catch up on sleep. While he tries to be polite, the disappointment etched on his face becomes increasingly hard to miss. By the time he disembarks, he’s likely planning a visit to the urologist for a vasectomy.
- Mr. Uninhibited: This fellow seems to lack any children of his own and even less regard for those around him. He’s loud, indulges in a few too many drinks, and inadvertently teaches your toddler a new colorful word. You find him reclining his seat all the way back, compressing your already limited space. If karma exists, his future will include a trio of colicky infants.
- The Flight Attendant Enforcer: As you sprint to the tiny restroom (which feels like a chamber of chaos) to deal with an explosive diaper situation, she kindly reminds you that the seatbelt sign is still illuminated. Ashamed, you return to your seat, still covered in evidence of your baby’s latest meal. Throughout the flight, she will rigidly enforce the rules, conveniently overlooking the 10-year-old behind you who is kicking your seat. Any attempts to soothe your child will be met with passive-aggressive announcements about staying seated.
- The Perfect Family: This family seems like they stepped right out of a parenting magazine. Their children are impeccably dressed, quiet, and engaged in wholesome activities like coloring and reading. They even manage to nap peacefully without any help from Children’s Benadryl! The flight attendant beams at them, then casts a quick glance at you, as if to say, “Take notes!” You’re too busy dealing with mashed peas and diaper mishaps to notice.
- The Little Tornadoes: These energetic children have a penchant for running up and down the aisles, screaming at the top of their lungs, and pushing every button in sight. Their urgent bathroom requests seem to coincide perfectly with takeoff and landing. They fight, cry, and wiggle throughout the flight, never once succumbing to sleep. Their exasperated parents keep checking the time, wishing for the flight to end, but alas, time seems to stand still. Yes, their parents are you.
Despite the chaos, travel can be an enriching experience for children. It broadens their horizons culturally, intellectually, and socially, and strengthens family bonds. In theory, it’s one of the best ways to spend time together. However, based on our experiences, we’ve decided to limit these adventures to once a year (or maybe five).
For more tips on surviving travel with little ones, check out this resource for some expert advice. And if you’re navigating your own journey into parenthood, Make a Mom has some great insights. Additionally, the CDC offers excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Traveling with children can be both chaotic and rewarding. From the disapproving businessman to the seemingly perfect family, every flight introduces you to unique characters. Despite the challenges, these experiences provide invaluable opportunities for growth, making family travel worth it—if only once a year!