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Why do I even bother folding my kids’ clothes? Laundry is an inevitable part of life. Each week, I sort, wash, and fold their garments only to find the next day that my meticulous efforts look like they were attacked by a wild animal in search of something cozy to wear.
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And seriously, why do I bother buying them adorable outfits? When they were younger, I enjoyed choosing their clothes, but now that they’re older, they dress themselves. Those cute dresses hang in the closet, some still with tags attached, while they stick to the same worn-out tees and shorts that they wear on repeat. My subtle hints go unnoticed, met only with eye rolls.
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Why can’t school districts coordinate better on start times and schedules? It seems like the administrators don’t communicate at all. When you have kids in different grades, navigating drop-offs and pick-ups can feel like running a marathon, especially when you’re left waiting for a school bell to ring when you could be heading to work.
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Do my children realize my ovaries aren’t GPS devices? Seriously, I have no idea where they left their iPhone. Why would I?
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Are they genuinely unable to hear me, or is it just selective listening? I can’t help but question their intelligence when I have to ask simple questions like “Are you ready?” multiple times before they respond. Sometimes I feel like I’m talking to a brick wall.
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Is it too much to ask for my kids to go 15 minutes without arguing? “Don’t touch your sibling” or “Don’t even look at her!” becomes my daily mantra, but it seems to fall on deaf ears. I often find myself resorting to threats of removing all their privileges just to get a moment of peace.
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Will my kids ever come to me with a question instead of yelling my name from two floors away? It’s like they think if they shout louder, I’ll somehow understand them better. If I don’t respond, it’s not because I’m not listening; I’m just tuning you out.
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Who is this ‘Jaden’ they keep talking about? Insert any name here—this is the mythical friend your child frequently mentions, the one whose parents seem to allow all sorts of things you’d never dream of permitting. It’s a constant reminder of how strict and out-of-touch you must appear.
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Why do I have to sell things? Whether it’s for school fundraisers or other activities, the burden of selling falls on me. I often think, I gave birth to a child, not a sales agent! It’s usually the parents who end up doing the heavy lifting—overseeing transactions and dealing with the aftermath of forgotten orders and customer service calls.
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Where can I find a drink? If you need me to elaborate on this, then either you don’t have kids or you’re living with a newborn who hasn’t yet learned to communicate. But I’ll turn the question back to you: Are you ready?
This article originally appeared on Aug. 3, 2014. For more engaging content, check out our other posts at Intracervical Insemination’s blog, which covers various topics, including fertility supplements from Make a Mom. Additionally, if you’re interested in pregnancy-related information, NHS provides excellent resources.
Summary:
Navigating the challenges of parenthood often leads to profound questions. From the endless cycle of laundry and clothing choices to the chaos of school schedules and children’s behavior, parents frequently find themselves pondering the absurdities of daily life. This lighthearted exploration highlights the frustrations and humorous realities of raising school-age children, reminding us that we’re all in this together.