Before entering the world of parenthood, the concept of sleep training seemed utterly perplexing to me. The saying “sleeping like a baby” has to originate from somewhere, so why would babies need sleep training? It’s quite a mystery.
I suspect this phrase was just a clever joke crafted by a sleep-deprived couple many years ago. Since bringing little Mia home from the hospital, I’ve discovered that newborns don’t actually sleep soundly. Instead, they grunt, squeal, squirm, kick, cry, eat, poop, and even smile while clocking in their 16-18 hours of sleep daily. Initially, I thought something might be wrong with Mia and took her to the pediatrician, only to be reassured that she was perfectly healthy. There was no magic solution for my noisy little sleeper; she was merely following her instincts.
As I prepared to leave the doctor’s office, tears streaming down my face, a nurse entered. After giving me a sympathetic glance, she said, “All four of my girls were noisy sleepers, too.” In that moment, I realized she was a seasoned veteran who truly understood my plight. Rather than offering advice, she simply patted my hand and encouraged me to stay strong.
That day, I recognized that I had been duped, and my precious bundle of joy was actually a tiny sleep disruptor taking my sweet dreams hostage. Judging by the nurse’s weary eyes, I knew this phase wouldn’t end anytime soon.
When I got home, I rifled through all the literature from the hospital and my birthing class materials, hoping to find something that explained newborn sleep. Surely, our healthcare system, which insists on lengthy birthing classes, would have provided guidance on managing a newborn’s sleep, right? I had an epiphany: if they revealed the truth, people might stop having babies. It’s clearly a conspiracy! So, what are the truths about newborn sleep?
- Babies are remarkably noisy sleepers. They grunt, squeak, and thrash around, even when tightly swaddled. They poop, pee, and express gas—all while supposedly sleeping! You’ll find yourself racing to their crib multiple times an hour to check on them, often waking them up in the process.
- They often sleep with their eyes half-open. They gaze at you like adorable little stalkers. Occasionally, their eyelids will droop while their eyes roll back, resembling a scene from a zombie movie. This oddity doesn’t become less creepy over time; you just learn to accept it.
- If you’re a new mom with a baby that sleeps for eight hours straight, keep it to yourself! Please don’t share your good fortune with me; I might secretly harbor resentment. Enjoy your sleep victory, but right now, we’re on opposing sides.
- “Have you tried swaddling?” is not helpful. Yes, I’ve tried every swaddle imaginable. I’ve experimented with every miraculous product on the market. My clever little one quickly figured out how to kick her way out of any swaddle, turning it into a game of “Keep Mommy Awake.”
- And please don’t suggest any other sleep aids. I’ve got two white noise machines, every pacifier available, and I even considered a silicone mold of my breast during a particularly desperate night. While some strategies buy me a few extra minutes of sleep, the days of more than four hours of continuous sleep are but a distant memory.
- Colic is a term that means “Your baby cries a lot, doesn’t like to sleep, and your doctor has no answers.” There’s really no fix for it, other than time.
- Don’t let white noise fool you; it won’t disguise your movements. Opening a soda can at 3 a.m. sounds like a bomb going off in the quiet night. If your newborn is in the same room and you need to use the restroom, you might as well just lie still and hope for the best.
- Accept help when offered. If family members volunteer to watch your little one overnight, take advantage of it! Resist the urge to shout “See ya!” as you dive under your covers for much-needed sleep. Hand over your baby and run to your room—emails and social media can wait.
- Sleep when your baby sleeps…unless they only sleep in the car. If you’re a human being who also needs to eat or shower, you might find it challenging to catch up on rest. Refer back to point 7 for tips on maximizing your sleep.
- When you find something that works, stick with it! Just the other day, I spoke with my friend Amy, who, as a mother of three, shared that none of her kids ever slept more than three hours at a time. However, once they grew older, she could at least threaten consequences if they didn’t stay in bed and pretend to sleep. So, there is hope—it does get better!
For more insights on sleep and parenting, check out our other blog posts here. If you want to explore more about fertility and related topics, Medical News Today is an excellent resource.
In summary, newborn sleep can be a bewildering experience filled with noise and unpredictability. Just remember, you are not alone, and accepting help while finding what works for you is key.