Contrary to what you might think, I was overjoyed when my physician revealed in the delivery room that a third daughter would be welcomed into our family. Having grown up with two sisters, I eagerly anticipated the delightful chaos my three girls would share—a whirlwind of emotions and melodrama typical of a household filled with females.
Plus, we already owned all the necessary girl-related items, making things a tad simpler. I had even picked out a boy’s name—Jessica—who would have looked adorable coming home in a pastel pink classic shift dress from Lilly Pulitzer. But enough about my imaginary son Jessica; let’s discuss what I’ve learned about raising little girls:
1. Girls Can Be Just as Gross as Boys.
When I’m with my nephews, I find myself amidst a symphony of bodily functions—farts, burps, and even outdoor bathroom breaks. These behaviors seem typical because, well, they are boys. However, there’s something downright eerie about a little girl adorned with ribbons who suddenly lets out a seven-second fart at the dinner table. My oldest daughter has even mastered farting on command, which once led to a wardrobe malfunction.
I can’t say I’m rushing to witness my youngest strut out of the bathroom, ruffled bloomers around her ankles, shouting, “Hey everyone! Come see my gigantic turd!” I still believe in keeping some level of mystery in our home.
2. Choosing Outfits is a Daily Puzzle.
Dressing three girls each day feels like trying to solve a riddle with constantly changing answers, all while a timer ticks away. I’ve given up on offering any suggestions about their clothing choices. I simply ensure they’re dressed appropriately and that none of them smell like pee.
“Listen, sweetheart,” I often say. “YOU chose this lovely dress. I bought it because you liked it. Now wear it.” Yet the complaints about itchiness ensue, and once they finally settle on an outfit, they typically change multiple times before breakfast, during breakfast, and even while we’re in the van. We’re perpetually late. For everything.
3. Glitter is Pure Evil.
Treat glitter like you would an infectious disease. Allow it into your home, and it will proliferate to cover every surface. It may seem harmless at first—just a cute headband, right? But before you know it, you’ll find yourself attending a PTO meeting with a sparkly mustache, and scrubbing it off will only make it worse. Any item that enters your home with glitter should be discarded immediately.
4. Hair Care is a Battle.
Brace yourself for defeat. Hair is a significant issue. I often forget to take my calming meds before the post-bath detangling session, resulting in a chorus of screams. I barely mastered the ponytail when a friend sent me a link to a YouTube channel featuring adorable hairstyles. Attempting a French braid was a disaster; my daughter ended up flailing on the floor while I clung to her hair. I don’t foresee myself mastering any intricate styles anytime soon.
5. Body Image Matters.
The future of another woman’s self-esteem rests heavily on your shoulders. Recently, my daughter asked if her friends would find her beautiful in a particular dress. Oh boy, we’re already having these conversations? I had to explain that true friends appreciate you for your character, not your appearance. I gave her a hug and suggested she help with some chores to build her confidence.
6. Emotions are Weapons.
Boys may express their feelings with punches, but girls are much more cunning. If my daughter feels wronged, she might plot revenge with a hair-cutting scheme. I remember a fight with my sister where I ended up eating a pie laced with salt and garlic. The female mind is powerful—mess with a woman’s dessert, and you’ll face consequences.
7. They’re Unbelievably Fancy.
One evening, after dinner, my daughters decided to host a “dance show.” They transformed into a sequined spectacle, wearing every shiny item they could find, complete with excessive lip gloss. They strutted in my high heels, and at one point, one of them told us to “smack her booty.” My husband and I were left in disbelief—I definitely wasn’t the one who taught them those moves!
8. It’s Incredibly Enjoyable.
Because, let’s face it, engaging in girly activities is a blast! From nails and facials to dance recitals, I love it all. You may think these are activities boys can enjoy too—and you’re right! I encourage everyone to plan a stuffed animal wedding with a fun theme in their playrooms. The day will come when my daughters won’t want to be seen with me, but for now, I cherish these moments, knowing one day they’ll recall the stories of their adventurous childhoods.
In conclusion, raising daughters is both incredibly challenging and deeply rewarding. Understanding their uniqueness, embracing their creativity, and navigating the chaos can be a delightful journey.
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