Just yesterday, I was coaching a swim meet alongside three fellow coaches. Among them was the Cool College Nanny (CCN), a bright-eyed 22-year-old, and a dad of three (D3) who is around my age.
While we were chatting on the deck, CCN posed an intriguing question: “What percentage of parenting do you think is challenging?” After a brief pause, I replied, “At least 70%,” while D3 chimed in with, “But definitely no more than 97.5%.”
CCN pondered for a moment and admitted, “I used to think I wanted children, but now I’m not so certain.” Immediately, D3 and I fell into our well-rehearsed parent spiel about how that remaining 30-2.5% of joy makes it all worthwhile.
Reflecting on this, I realized I needed to clarify my thoughts. Parenting truly is an endurance sport—a relentless ultra-marathon with no finish line in sight. It’s a test of physical, mental, and emotional stamina. There are days when you find yourself counting down to bedtime before the kids have even woken up. Because let’s be honest, some days, 97.5% of parenting is just plain hard.
In fact, there are moments when 99.9% of the experience feels overwhelming. When your little one cries incessantly night after night, it can be maddening. Or when your adventurous toddler decides to redecorate the mudroom with their own messy handiwork, parenting can feel like a nightmare.
And let’s not forget the gym scenario: you finally carve out time for a workout, only to be interrupted by a babysitting staff member because your child has been wailing the whole time. When you wake up feeling the aftereffects of a night out, only to have your child rise at the crack of dawn, it’s enough to test anyone’s patience.
Then there are the days when you attempt to write, only to be thwarted by a toddler who is determined to create chaos on your keyboard. Or when your child’s tummy troubles lead to unfortunate messes in your freshly cleaned car—those moments can leave any parent feeling utterly defeated.
And what about those teenage years? When your child looks you right in the eye and declares their disdain for everything you stand for, it’s another tough pill to swallow. Or when your kid faces bullying at school, and you feel powerless to help; those moments sting.
Even the happiest parenting milestones can be overshadowed by chaos. When your daughter’s heart is broken by someone unworthy, or when anxiety grips your child, leaving them unable to feel safe, these are the times when parenting feels especially heavy.
There are days when you feel like a failure, like when you finally reach your breaking point and snap at your kids. Or when your four-year-old defiantly ignores your requests, or your kids can’t help but bother each other in the car, no matter how far apart you seat them.
When your teenager is late coming home, or when your kids manage to break yet another beloved item in your house, it can feel like an endless cycle of frustration.
But amidst all of this, there exists that elusive 0.1%. A simple kiss, a moment of hand-holding, or the sight of your child peacefully sleeping can melt away the stress of the day. Witnessing their joy when they achieve something on their own or seeing their laughter while playing can make the struggles fade into the background.
Experiencing special moments, whether it’s a family outing or the innocent joy of a holiday, can remind you why you embarked on this journey in the first place. Those spontaneous “I love you, Mom” moments, or heartfelt “thank you” can brighten even the darkest days.
So yes, the tough days may outnumber the good ones, but they don’t overshadow them. And that’s what makes it all worthwhile.
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Summary
Parenting can often feel like an endurance test filled with challenges that can overwhelm even the most patient individuals. However, despite the tough times, the small joys of being a parent make the journey fulfilling and worthwhile. It’s the little moments of love and connection that keep us going.