My child, who is living with HIV, is playing alongside yours, and you may be completely unaware of it. She has shared moments with your little one at a nearby private preschool, splashed in the pool during swim lessons, and stood in line behind your child at gymnastics class. Due to legal protections surrounding her HIV-positive status, we aren’t required to disclose this information to schools, camps, or even other parents—only to healthcare professionals.
Thanks to the courageous advocacy of many, the stigma surrounding HIV has been challenged, allowing families like ours the right to keep certain aspects private. Before adopting, our social worker advised us, “Keep this to yourselves. There is so much misunderstanding out there. Your child, being of Chinese descent, may already stand out; do you really want to give people another reason to judge her?”
This year in kindergarten, my sweet girl attempted to explain her situation to your child. “Emma, guess what? I have a dragon in my blood! I was born with it, and my mom from China had it too. When I take my medicine, the dragon stays asleep.” However, Emma and several others didn’t quite grasp her words. One even declared, “Well, I was born in China, and I have a dragon too!” It seems he wanted to be part of the story. I reassured her that they just didn’t understand yet.
So, why don’t I need to inform schools, churches, and daycare centers? The answer is simple—HIV has never been transmitted in these environments. With modern medication, the virus becomes inactive. Every four months, my child’s blood is tested, and every time, the results show no trace of the virus. She is vibrant, joyful, and full of life. I tend to her scrapes, wipe her noses, share snacks, and exchange kisses—all without any concern about HIV transmission.
You see, she was born with this condition. Had her birth mother been able to access life-saving antiretroviral therapy during pregnancy, my daughter might not have HIV at all. Interestingly, those costly medications that she and other HIV-positive individuals take daily are provided for free in China, thanks to the government. Yet, many people there avoid treatment because admitting to being HIV-positive can lead to disownment and social ostracism.
In the future, my child might date your son or even start a family with HIV-negative children of her own—if that’s what she desires. Fellow parents, it’s crucial to understand that there is nothing to fear about HIV. Please take the time to educate yourselves by researching online, talking to your doctor, and exploring resources such as this excellent guide on fertility insurance. Knowledge is empowering and can help dispel the myths surrounding this virus.
And just a gentle reminder: my HIV-positive child is playing with your child, and you may not even realize which one she is. But that’s perfectly okay.
HIV isn’t the monster it’s often portrayed to be; ignorance and fear are the real challenges we face. For more insights, consider checking out this informative post or learning more about fertility at Make a Mom.
Summary:
This heartfelt piece sheds light on a mother’s experience raising an HIV-positive child, emphasizing the importance of understanding and dispelling myths surrounding HIV. The author advocates for education and compassion, highlighting that children with HIV can lead healthy, fulfilling lives. By sharing personal anecdotes and insights, she aims to foster acceptance and combat stigma, reminding readers that love and knowledge can overcome fear.