Parenting
I’m utterly worn out. Last night, I found myself sleeping across a king-sized bed, crammed into a top bunk, nestled in a twin-sized bottom bunk, and even lying on the floor next to the crib with my head resting on a Boppy, all between the hours of 10 PM and 6:30 AM.
I’m so tired that my nighttime pacing has left marks on the hardwood floor. I should probably invest in a pedometer because I’m sure I burn more calories at night than during the day. Actually, I definitely do, considering my endless walking and constant breastfeeding sessions.
I’m so drained that even my dog has opted out of sleeping in my room because he isn’t nocturnal and needs his beauty rest.
I’m so tired I once poured orange juice into my coffee. I’m so exhausted that I accidentally squeezed tinted moisturizer onto my toothbrush. I even wore my pants inside out without realizing it until I was at my Pure Barre class, where I caught the strange looks from other women. I hurried into the bathroom to fix it.
I’m so tired that I’ve looked for my keys in the freezer because I’ve found them there before—after unloading groceries, it seems I sometimes put them away with the frozen peas. I’m so tired I stashed my home phone in my purse when I drove my kids to school this morning. I’m so fatigued I hang up the phone after making appointments, only to forget the details immediately, too embarrassed to call back.
I’m so tired that when my five-year-old did a Mother’s Day project at school, she listed my favorite things as sleep and coffee. I can’t remember the last time I slept through the night without interruption, but I know it was over two years ago. I’m so exhausted because I’m a milk factory for my nine-month-old. I’ve Googled “baby sleep” over a thousand times in the past nine months.
I feel a surge of frustration when I read comments from anonymous parents proclaiming their babies slept through the night at six weeks old because of their “nighttime routine.” Thanks for nothing, anonymous parent; I’ve never tried one of those. I seethe when Facebook friends post about their first child sleeping through the night at just a few months old. They don’t understand the curse they bring upon themselves or the struggles of parents whose little ones don’t naturally sleep well.
I’m so tired I own more than a dozen sleep books. One day, I thought I might have accidentally bumped into a parked car while three kids screamed in the back of my van. I was late for an appointment, and there was no chance to stop. When I returned five minutes later, the car was gone. I ended up at the police station to confess my possible blunder, but the officer advised me to go home and take a nap, warning that someone might take advantage of me in my state.
With the baby on my hip, I explained to the officer that I drive a minivan and had never bumped into anything until now, yet both sides of my car are scratched from navigating out of my garage and colliding with trash cans. I even told him that the dimensions of my minivan are odd; my husband has also knocked over a trash can.
One day, I struggled to park my minivan next to the curb on an empty street. A construction worker observed my failed attempts, and I eventually drove around the corner to avoid his gaze. After having three children, I’ve concluded that my parking skills are the first to suffer from exhaustion.
I’m so tired that making small talk feels impossible. I constantly put my foot in my mouth and leave conversations feeling embarrassed. Just yesterday, my daughter’s teacher complimented her pink Converse high tops, and I blurted out, “Oh, her husband is obsessed with shoes.” I meant to say my husband!
Despite not having much of a sweet tooth, I find myself shoveling handfuls of chocolate chips or leftover Halloween candy into my mouth in the afternoons just to make it to bedtime. I admit, I’ve done this to myself—having three children under five years old means there’s a high chance at least one will wake up during the night. If I’m up three times with the baby and twice with the three-year-old, that’s five wake-ups. The conclusion? Three kids equal perpetual sleeplessness.
I finally understand the phrase “bone tired.” I literally ache everywhere. I know why sleep deprivation is considered a form of torture. I’m so exhausted—I NEED TO SLEEP TRAIN THE BABY ASAP.
This article was originally published on Oct. 28, 2014.
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In summary, parenting can be a relentless journey of exhaustion, filled with humorous mishaps and the daily struggle to find time for self-care and sleep. Embracing the chaos and finding support is key to surviving the whirlwind of raising little ones.