Parenting
Is Anyone Else Hearing This Nonsense?
by Linda Johnson
Updated: Jan. 16, 2016
Originally Published: Nov. 6, 2014
Every morning, I gently persuade my kids into their car seats, and we embark on our journey to preschool and kindergarten, jamming to the latest Top 40 hits. We tune in to whatever’s playing, and as long as it has a catchy beat, we’re in a good mood. I’m not overly concerned about the lyrics; my little ones are so young that they often misinterpret the words or miss the innuendos entirely. At home, our dance party playlist includes a few suggestive tunes (like Katy Perry’s “Peacock” and Icona Pop’s “I Love It”), and once, I even inadvertently made a CD for daycare that included explicit versions instead of the radio edits. Not my finest parenting moment!
While I typically don’t stress over lyrics, one particular song currently topping the charts really rubs me the wrong way, and it seems to play every time I switch on the radio.
Gonna wear that dress you like, skin-tight
Do my hair up real, real nice
And syncopate my skin to your heart beating
‘Cause I just wanna look good for you, good for you
I just wanna look good for you, good for you
Let me show you how proud I am to be yours
Leave this dress a mess on the floor
And still look good for you, good for you
– “Good For You” by Samantha Taylor
How is it that I can overlook songs celebrating partying and casual relationships but find this one troubling? While those other tracks might not promote the best ideals, they typically present the singer as confident and self-assured.
When I imagine myself in the role of the singer, the phrase “I just want to look good for you” suggests several unsettling implications:
- All my efforts are for someone else, not me.
- Your opinion of my appearance holds far more weight than my own.
- My self-worth hinges on your validation, leading me to believe I’m not enough as I am.
My daughter, now 5, will face countless messages about beauty standards throughout her life, many of which will be unhealthy. Already, she enjoys dressing up in frilly outfits and pretending to be older, and I’m perfectly fine with that—so long as she retains her spirited nature and pairs her fanciest princess attire with her messy bedhead, jelly-smudged lips, and the dirt from climbing trees. If she sees dressing up as pure fun rather than a societal expectation, I support it, as long as it doesn’t limit her other activities.
In contrast, the song by Samantha Taylor promotes the idea of conforming to someone else’s standards. The lyrics depict the singer as a decorative figure, highlighting how others’ perceptions of her appearance overshadow her own self-worth. The repeated phrase “just wanna look good for you” implies a troubling sentiment: “my own opinion doesn’t matter.”
This notion, so prevalent in media today, is not something I want my children to absorb. I’m not boycotting Samantha Taylor, as I understand she likely aimed to create a hit song. However, my priority is to raise children who are confident in themselves and who only alter their appearance for their own enjoyment.
So, what’s the takeaway? It’s essential to recognize and challenge negative messages and to teach my kids to do the same. I want them to realize that self-confidence is far more valuable than physical beauty. I hope my daughter learns that if she chooses to focus on her appearance, it should be for her own pleasure, and that anyone else who appreciates it is just a bonus. I also hope my son grows into a man who finds a woman’s confidence, authenticity, and strength to be her most attractive qualities.
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In summary, it’s crucial for our children to understand the importance of self-esteem over societal expectations, fostering a sense of self that encourages them to embrace who they are.