Let’s be real for a moment. I went through labor without any pain relief. I breastfed my daughter until she was nearly two, and while I adored every minute, I longed to reclaim my body (my partner did too!). I fully vaccinate everyone in my household, even my dog who’s not a fan of needles. Sugary snacks? Not a fan. Sometimes my daughter runs into things—yeah, like cars—and I can’t help but chuckle. She has slept in her own bed since she was just three weeks old. I carry her around a lot—seriously, a lot. And yes, there are days when she cries as I drop her off at preschool, racing off to work. Oh, and she’s obsessed with hot dogs. And ketchup. A LOT of ketchup.
Ready to judge?
As a general trend, moms can be judgmental—though we don’t admit it openly. I’m guilty too. I could share how I judge, but let’s face it, you know what I mean because you do it too. But some judgments just have to stop. Here are a few:
- Birth Choices: When I was expecting, I was certain that an epidural was off the table for me. The risks involved made it clear: I was in for a wild birth story. My friend Sarah, however, had to undergo an emergency c-section at 32 weeks because her baby wasn’t getting enough nutrition. Three decades later, she still hears that she didn’t “really” give birth and is somehow less of a mother for it. Let’s be honest: if a baby comes out of you, that’s childbirth, period. And if you’ve adopted, you have a unique birth story of your own.
- Feeding Our Kids: Look, unless you see me forcing my kid to eat a greasy burger, please don’t intervene (and even then, assume I’m doing my best). I chose to breastfeed because it worked for us. I’m a perfectly healthy adult who was raised on formula. My mom couldn’t breastfeed and I was picky with food until I was two. Not every family can afford organic meals or buy new bottles every time a new study comes out. Some parents thrive on making homemade baby food, while others would lose their minds trying.
- School and Daycare Decisions: “Sending a two-year-old to preschool full-time is nuts!” Okay, but my partner and I work full-time, and our families can’t care for our child all day. So, unless I want to bring my toddler to teach my 125 middle school students, he needs to be somewhere. Why not preschool? I’m envious of those who can stay home with their children all day, but that’s not our reality. We’ve made our choices based on financial needs—like wanting to visit family out of state. You might disagree, but please don’t label our choices as crazy.
- Public Parenting Styles: I consider myself a pretty relaxed mom. I let my daughter explore and observe how she manages on her own at home. In public, however, it feels like everyone is anxiously waiting for her to fall or get hurt. I fell off things as a kid—I have the scars. Risk teaches resilience. When my daughter cries in public, I feel eyes on me judging my response. Unless your child is in danger, let’s keep our parenting styles to ourselves.
We all have our little annoyances. It’s tough not to judge; we all want to believe we’re making the best choices for our kids. But remember, we’re making these decisions for our own children, not for anyone else’s.
So, moms, let’s embrace the chaos together and acknowledge that every family has its own path—even if it seems strange to the outside world.
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Summary
In a world where mom judgment runs rampant, it’s essential to stop criticizing each other’s choices around birth, feeding, schooling, and public parenting. We all make decisions based on our unique circumstances and what works best for our families. Instead of judging, let’s support one another in this parenting journey, as each family navigates their own path.