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I Can’t Complain
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Parenting
I Can’t Complain
by Sarah Thompson
Updated: July 10, 2017
Originally Published: November 27, 2014
When people inquire about how I’m doing, my go-to response is, “I can’t complain.” Honestly, I really can’t. We have a roof over our heads, food on the table, a loving partner, and healthy children. I prefer gratitude over complaining.
These days, it seems like complaining has become a common way to connect with others. We grumble about the weather—whether it’s too rainy or too dry—our frustrations with long grocery lines, subpar service at restaurants, the seemingly endless carpooling, the mountain of laundry, or even the amount of homework our kids bring home. I’m just as guilty of this as anyone else. I find myself complaining about the sweltering heat, my struggles to lose weight (especially when it comes to giving up wine and carbs), or the exhausting task of driving my son to hockey practice in rush hour traffic.
We all have our moments of self-pity, but I’m making an effort to catch myself and cut back on the complaints. Before I let another grievance slip out, I think of my friend Mia.
I met Mia in seventh grade. She was exceptionally bright, especially in English and History. Kind, soft-spoken, humorous, and friendly, Mia continued her education at Trinity College and eventually became an English teacher at our middle and high school alma mater, inspiring a new generation of students. She was a devoted mother of three boys and a cherished alumni liaison. Tragically, during her third pregnancy, she was diagnosed with triple-negative breast cancer. A few years later, she passed away at just 39, leaving behind a two-year-old son.
The last time I saw Mia was at a birthday party for one of our friends’ kids. It was June, and Mia, vibrant and full of life, attended with her boys. At that time, her cancer was in remission, and she radiated joy, engaging fully with her children. She had a quiet strength that made her a joy to be around. Sadly, just months later, her cancer returned, and by Thanksgiving, she was gone.
On days when I feel particularly irritable, when everything annoys me and I’m tempted to vent, I think of Mia. While I’m doing dishes at the sink, I remember how she would give anything to be here, scrubbing those pots and pans. When my alarm goes off at 6:00 am on a school day and I’m exhausted, I think of Mia, who would trade places with me in an instant just to wake her kids. During those car rides filled with noisy kids and frustrating traffic, I remind myself how fortunate I am to experience those seemingly mundane moments.
I’m striving to be more conscious of my words and focus on the positives instead of dwelling on the negatives. It’s a challenge to shift the conversation away from complaining, but it’s a conscious choice I’m committed to making.
I’m reminded of a dad I see at my son’s hockey practices. Whenever I greet him and ask how he’s doing, he always replies, “Living the dream!” He says it lightheartedly, but he’s onto something. We are living the life that Mia and many others could only dream of. So, if you ask me how I’m doing today, I hope to respond with, “Living the dream! I can’t complain at all.”
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Summary:
In this reflective piece, the author shares her thoughts on the tendency to complain and how she strives to cultivate gratitude in her life. Inspired by the memory of her late friend Mia, who faced significant challenges with grace, she emphasizes the importance of appreciating everyday moments, even amidst the chaos of parenting. Ultimately, the author encourages a shift toward positive conversation and recognizes the blessings in life.