Parenting
Is Your Enthusiasm Making You Seem Uncool?
by Jessica Lane
Updated: Sep. 11, 2015
Originally Published: Dec. 17, 2014
As someone who embraces enthusiasm, it can feel like a double-edged sword. Growing up, I was brimming with energy and spirit, yet I was also plagued by fears that stifled my joy. I often found that I could only experience happiness after overcoming something that had terrified me. While I felt a spark of enthusiasm deep down, it took me years to truly embrace it.
In my late twenties and early thirties, I learned to articulate my emotions and developed coping strategies for situations that once felt overwhelming. As I gained confidence, I became excited about activities I had previously avoided. My enthusiasm began to shine through, expressed with a genuine eagerness that might seem more at home in a younger person. However, I was told that an adult’s exuberance was often seen as “uncool.” But I refuse to believe that I am uncool.
I find joy in the things I love. Engaging with brilliant ideas and stimulating conversations elevates my spirit. The more I learn from those around me, the more optimistic I become about life. I don’t pretend to be disinterested; I’m simply genuinely curious and engaged. My childhood was filled with challenges, so I feel a strong pull toward everything that appears possible.
Aloofness, the antithesis of enthusiasm, is a trait I find incredibly off-putting. It creates distance and often leaves others feeling inadequate. A few years ago, a younger friend, Chloe, told me that while she thought I was “cool for my age,” I was also “sort of a nerd” because I openly displayed my enthusiasm. That stung, not just for me but for the concept of enthusiasm itself.
Aloofness is often celebrated as “cool,” but it doesn’t foster connection. I’m highly attuned to others’ feelings, which drives me to be warm and welcoming. This often makes those who are more reserved feel uncomfortable, leaving me feeling like the odd one out. What’s an enthusiastic person to do?
I have a friend, Tom, who is unabashedly enthusiastic. He tells everyone he loves them, and while it might catch some off guard, he expresses it genuinely. His enthusiasm is contagious and represents a kind of overflow that cannot be contained.
Part of why I embrace enthusiasm is my concern for others who may be struggling with fears similar to those I faced in my youth. My friendliness is, in many ways, a shield against my past insecurities. Ironically, the very enthusiasm I exhibit to comfort others often sets me apart, making me seem “nerdy” or “dorky” for being so open-hearted. I’ve attempted to tone it down, but true energy is hard to suppress.
Ultimately, what surprises me most isn’t how others perceive my enthusiasm but rather how I’ve transformed into a genuinely enthusiastic person after years of feeling lost and fearful.
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In summary, embracing enthusiasm can make one feel uncool in a world that often rewards aloofness. Yet, the joy of genuine connection and interest in others far outweighs the stigma.