As the mom of three energetic boys, I often find myself in the middle of chaos that feels both familiar and utterly bewildering. While my boys are relatively laid-back and well-mannered, their creativity knows no bounds. I often catch myself wondering what goes on in their little blonde heads.
When I envisioned motherhood, I had no idea raising boys would come with its own set of unique challenges. With no brothers of my own, I assumed my words would mostly be wise and nurturing. Yet, here I am, compiling a list of the most outrageous things I’ve had to say. Each time I utter one of these phrases, I think, “Did I really just say that?” Here are some of the most memorable:
- It is NEVER acceptable to pee in your toy truck. Seems obvious, right? But my then 3-year-old thought otherwise. I can still picture him with his front-loader toy truck, and I must admit, his aim was impressive—too bad the bucket is so small!
- Take your brother’s underwear off your head RIGHT NOW. You’d think wearing someone else’s “used” undies would gross him out, but for my 3-year-old, it was just another form of silly fun.
- Do NOT poke your finger near your brother’s eyeball. I can’t even remember which child was involved in this, but I suspect it was the same one who tried the underwear stunt.
- Please don’t eat your earwax. A classic case of boys being boys. My youngest seems to have an aversion to tissues, and despite my best efforts to explain why this habit is disgusting and unhealthy, it continues. I suspect it’s just easier for him.
- Do not throw banana peels on the ground and try to slip on them. My husband witnessed this stunt by our 4-year-old, who seemed to think he was recreating a scene from Mythbusters. Also, thanks to that show, my 7-year-old is convinced that jeans could spontaneously combust. He now refuses to wear them, opting for sweatpants instead.
- Do NOT leave your toothbrush on the bathroom floor. With boys, the firehose is dangerous business. I’ve come to realize that many of the things I never thought I’d say revolve around this topic.
- Seriously, don’t put boogers in your ears. Did I just have to remind you of that?
- A pretend helmet can’t actually protect your head. It’s both amusing and terrifying to see my 4-year-old don a fireman costume at the beach on a sweltering day, fully convinced he’s ready for action.
- Do not leave cups of pee in the bathtub. Mid-bath emergencies led my boys to devise a plan to conduct a “science experiment” by leaving a cup of pee for a few days. Let’s just say that was a discovery I could have done without!
- Don’t stash blackberries in your pockets. Living in the Pacific Northwest, my oldest loves foraging for this delicious fruit. However, he recently filled his pockets with leftover lunch items—cherry tomatoes, snap peas, and peanuts—thinking he was being resourceful.
I know this list will continue to grow as my boys get older. With my youngest now joining in on the fun, I can only imagine the new mischief he’ll bring. After all, these moments are the fabric of motherhood—funny, chaotic, and unforgettable. For more on parenting, check out this post on home insemination kits, as well as this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination at News Medical.
In summary
Raising boys can be a wild ride filled with unexpected moments that challenge your perceptions of normalcy. From silly antics to bizarre habits, these experiences shape the unique journey of motherhood.