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The Inner Dialogue During Meditation
What’s wrong with you that all your daydreams revolve around scenarios in which you mess up or fail to follow through, and somehow it’s never your fault? Don’t be so hard on yourself; everyone does that.
Actually, they don’t. And that’s your go-to thought—how everyone else is just as flawed as you, but you’re the only one brave enough to admit it. Truth is, others aren’t as bad as you think; you might be the worst. Which is why you’re here, preparing to meditate for 2.5 hours.
Oh please, you don’t have to go. There’s no scoreboard. You despise how these new-age folks cling to that Judeo-Christian notion that meditating somehow serves as penance for their misdeeds while pretending they’re on some profound spiritual journey. You’re no better than they are.
Stop being so hard on yourself.
But if you let yourself off the hook, you’ll just remain insufferable forever.
Good point.
You’re not wearing a bra. Is that a way to honor the universe’s sacred darkness?
Ugh. Look at that awful parking job. Is that guy next to you chuckling? Oh, it’s just that dude. He doesn’t care.
Oh no, they’re doing warm-ups first. Why do these overzealous fitness enthusiasts have to run the show? They need someone more like you in charge.
Just take your time setting up your mat and blankets. Then you can skip this part. Rolling your neck in circles isn’t hard. You can manage that.
Oh, everyone has their eyes closed. You can relax now.
Ek Ong Kar. Sat Nam. Siri. Wahe Guru.
How much time has passed? How long does it take to repeat the mantra once? Maybe if you figure that out, counting will distract you from the monotony. Do this for about half an hour, then you can lie down.
Oh, two people are already lying down. You could do that too! Wait, they’re kids. You can’t be the only adult lying down.
About thirty minutes have gone by. You could lie down for maybe 40 minutes, then get up for the last part. No. You can’t.
You can totally get away with that.
Wow, you really dozed off for a while. Time for a bathroom break. Whoa! It’s 6:45! Meditation will be over soon. You could sneak in a few more repetitions of “Ek Ong Kar. Sat Nam. Siri. Wahe Guru” and be home to sleep in five minutes. How fantastic!
Stare at the clock hard because you’re probably just tired. No, it’s definitely 6:45. This is incredible! You might not have been fully awake during most of the meditation, but that’s not really your fault, right? Wow, you didn’t even scold yourself for being lazy. Is that a sign of progress? Did meditation actually help?
Okay, at least 15 minutes must have passed. What are these people doing? Are they planning to keep you here forever? Can you lie down again? Just say “Ek Ong Kar. Sat Nam. Siri. Wahe Guru” ten more times, and you’ll be done. You have to be. You saw the clock—time must be dragging.
Someone just walked in. Oh wow, it’s Lisa! She told you she would arrive closer to 6:15. Is it 6:15? No, it can’t be. Lisa just messed up the timing. Don’t check the clock.
Oh my God, it actually is 6:15.
Go chant some more. You can do this. Good job!
Finally, another adult lies down. Oh great, she’s pregnant. Of course, they get all the perks. You have to keep sitting up. You have to. Okay, just lie down for one more second. Then you must sit up and chant again. Just keep going; it’s not that bad.
Just lie down for five more minutes, then get up.
Did she just say “last one”? Sit up quickly! Maybe no one will notice you were lying down the whole time.
“Ek Ong Kar. Sat Nam. Siri. Wahe Guru.” You did it!
You didn’t really do anything; you were asleep!
Leave me alone. At least you showed up.
Is that good enough? Just showing up?
It’s going to have to be because that’s practically all you ever do.
Fair enough.
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Summary:
The inner dialogue during meditation often reveals a blend of self-doubt and humor. As one navigates through thoughts of inadequacy and the struggle to focus, it’s clear that showing up, despite the chaos in one’s mind, is still a worthwhile achievement. The journey through meditation can sometimes feel tedious and filled with distractions, but simply being present is a step in the right direction.