I see you at that table in the restaurant, perhaps with your partner or just enjoying some quality time with your little one, much like I often do. You’re engaged in a real adult conversation, one that doesn’t revolve around Minecraft, Mario Kart, or the latest YouTube trends. Or maybe you’re quietly reflecting, while your child is absorbed in their own digital universe, the glow of the screen illuminating their face.
I want to assure you, I’m not here to judge. I understand you because I am in the same boat.
When I look your way, it’s not because I think I have it all figured out; it’s because I completely relate to the struggle of carving out time to connect with other adults. And when you finally manage to do that, it feels incredible. It’s like nurturing a parched sponge—life-giving and refreshing, isn’t it? Those moments of connection, of truly being seen and heard, sharing stories, and enjoying laughter, are what makes life rich.
As parents, we often find ourselves caught up in the daily grind. We wake up early, head off to work, return home exhausted, and our kids constantly need our attention. We handle baths, prepare meals (which, let’s be honest, can be a loose interpretation of “cooking”), listen to endless tales about Enderman (who I still don’t quite understand), and hear about everything that happened at recess. We tuck our little ones into their cozy beds, loving them fiercely.
But then comes the fatigue. We might watch some TV, scroll through social media, engaging with posts, and then hit the pillow, allowing another day to slip by without meaningful connection with the adults in our lives or even with ourselves. Both types of connection—outward and inward—are essential. They’re not just important; they’re crucial for living our fullest lives. Even I, without any self-proclaimed wisdom, can recognize that.
So, when those precious moments arise—when you can chat with a friend, spouse, or family member—don’t hesitate to distract your kids if needed. Sure, we don’t want our children glued to screens all day (believe me, I understand the challenges as a parent of a young gamer). But if a tablet or handheld game helps keep them occupied for a bit while you engage in adult conversation or take a moment for yourself, go for it without guilt or shame.
Older generations may not get it. They’ll make comments and roll their eyes at what they perceive as reliance on technology as a babysitter. Yes, we should teach our kids to practice good manners, like looking people in the eye while speaking and putting devices away during meals. But don’t let guilt creep in when you take a much-needed moment for yourself. You work hard for your kids and show them love in countless ways. When you hand over that iPad, remember—you’re not just a parent; you’re “Mom” or “Dad of the Year.” Your child is enjoying a meal out, which is no small feat! Later, you can play a board game or bake together, but for now? You deserve recognition. You deserve a sash.
Let’s shift away from self-criticism and embrace the idea that being an excellent parent includes taking time to enrich our own lives. Sound like a plan?
If you’re curious about more parenting insights, check out other resources like this one, which offers great perspectives. For those interested in artificial insemination, Make a Mom is a fantastic resource on the topic, and Mount Sinai provides excellent information about pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary: We all need time to connect with others and ourselves, especially as busy parents. It’s okay to use technology as a tool to create those moments of connection. Let’s embrace the idea that self-care is part of being a great parent.