Over the years, I’ve come to realize that the online world can be quite unforgiving when it comes to feedback. A particular incident still stands out vividly in my mind. About a year ago, I partnered with my academic mentor to produce videos for an online course. After the release of our first video, a viewer left a comment that hit hard:
“Apologies for the negativity, but I find Alex’s delivery quite annoying, which undermines the video’s purpose. I’m sure they have valuable insights, but they should slow down, think before speaking, and express more confidence in their views.”
I was taken aback by this feedback and felt a mix of hurt and anger. Why would someone I didn’t even know be so critical? Since then, I’ve contemplated how to respond constructively to criticism. Here are six techniques that have proven beneficial for me:
1. Breathe Deeply
My initial response to that comment was emotional. I felt tears well up, and anger bubbled inside me. It’s crucial to recognize that when we encounter criticism, our instinct may be to react defensively. This can trigger a fight-or-flight response—our bodies tense up, our heart races, and our ability to think clearly diminishes. However, this reaction is disproportionate when faced with mere words on the Internet. So, whenever you receive criticism, pause for a moment: take deep breaths and observe your physical state. This simple act can help you transition from a stressed state to a calmer one, allowing for a more rational assessment.
2. View Criticism as Constructive
When faced with feedback, our immediate thought might be panic: “Oh no, I’ve messed up!” However, it’s essential to remind ourselves that constructive criticism can be incredibly valuable. If there’s something I can improve—like perhaps being a less engaging presenter—then acknowledging it is the first step toward change. Embracing criticism can pave the way for growth.
3. Consider the Critic’s Perspective
Once you’ve calmed down and recognized the potential benefits of the feedback, take a step back to ask yourself: “What might be motivating this person’s comment?” Understanding their viewpoint helps divert your focus from your feelings, making you less defensive. By putting yourself in their shoes, you might uncover useful insights. For instance, I realized that my tendency to speak quickly could frustrate viewers trying to follow along.
4. Separate Useful Feedback from Noise
Often, harsh criticisms contain both truth and exaggeration. It’s essential to dissect what’s being said to identify the useful elements. For instance, while I might not agree that I am generally “irritating,” I can acknowledge that I tend to speak too quickly at times. Instead of viewing criticism as an all-or-nothing scenario, we can categorize it into three types: accurate, misguided, and emotional. In my case, the comment about needing more confidence was misguided; I just lacked experience in video communication.
5. Seek Additional Opinions
After parsing through feedback and identifying useful elements, getting a second opinion can be beneficial. Is this a widespread concern or just a one-off remark? In my case, I had previously received similar feedback from trusted peers, which confirmed the validity of the comment. Had others disagreed, I might have questioned the necessity of making adjustments.
6. Create an Improvement Plan
If you’ve identified constructive elements in the criticism, the final step is to actively work on them. This might involve seeking guidance from others. In my situation, I reached out to friends for tips on improving my speaking clarity and pacing. Another strategy is to dedicate time to practice, like preparing for the next video recording. The key is to genuinely understand the feedback and determine actionable steps for the future.
In conclusion, criticism doesn’t have to be a negative experience. By approaching it with an open mind and a strategic plan, you can turn potentially hurtful comments into opportunities for self-improvement. For more insights on related topics and to enhance your journey, check out resources like the CDC’s guide on pregnancy and infertility, or explore effective solutions at Make a Mom.