Updated: Jan. 13, 2023
Originally Published: Jan. 13, 2023
“Mom! Come here!” my daughter calls from the upstairs bathroom. I rush in, expecting to find her in some sort of trouble, but instead, I find my five-year-old standing on a stool, admiring her reflection in the mirror, clad only in her adorable underwear.
“I tilted it down, and now I can see my whole body!” she exclaims, joyfully twisting side to side. She flexes her tiny arm and beams, “Look at my muscles! I’m super strong!”
To me, she’s absolutely perfect just as she is, and it seems she feels the same way.
But I can’t shake the worry that, one day, someone will tell her she’s not perfect. The thought ignites a fire within me. I brace myself for the day an unkind person might point out that her feet are too big or that she has her dad’s nose. Someone will inevitably suggest she should eat more or less, altering how she sees herself forever.
As she strikes poses in front of the mirror, I can’t help but wonder who might be responsible for this. Will it be one of her school friends? At this age, their biggest threat is “I won’t be your best friend anymore,” and insults about appearance aren’t even on their radar.
It won’t come from the TV either. Characters like Daisy Duck and Max the Monkey embrace their quirks and don’t contribute to any harmful body image ideals. No, I doubt the confidence-sapping body image vampire lurks within children’s programming.
I step closer to my beautiful girl and wrap her in a hug. “Look at us, mommy,” she says, pointing at the mirror. I glance up and realize I’m absentmindedly tugging at the gray hairs in my own head. As she preens and poses, I notice the bags under my eyes and start worrying about my forehead wrinkles. I hear her giggle and turn to find her making silly faces just like mine. Then she looks at me and says, “Mommy, you’re beautiful.”
In that moment, I realize I’m the one perpetuating negative thoughts. I’m the one introducing her to society’s unrealistic standards. When she tells me to flex my arms, I complain about my “arm fat.” When she suggests I wear my favorite pants, I lament about my “big butt.” Each time she affirms me, I contradict her, inadvertently teaching her that beauty is conditional.
“I want to grow up and look just like you, mommy,” she says. But she doesn’t see the same person I do—a tired middle-aged woman who downplays her worth. Instead, she sees a whimsical figure who protects her and showers her with love.
I mentally dig deep, determined to eradicate those negative thoughts. I refuse to be the one who erodes her confidence. I won’t allow her to suffer from the relentless judgment and self-doubt that often invade my mind.
Tomorrow, I’ll wake up and remind her that we are both beautiful. I’ll repeat this affirmation daily until I believe it as firmly as she does. Someday, someone may tell her she isn’t perfect, but I promise that person will never be me.
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Summary:
In a heartfelt reflection, a mother contemplates the inevitable moment when her daughter may face criticism about her appearance. While the young girl confidently admires herself, the mother struggles with her own insecurities and negative self-talk. Determined not to pass on these harmful attitudes, she resolves to instill a sense of beauty and confidence in her daughter, vowing to be the supportive voice that uplifts rather than diminishes her self-worth.