Before I embraced motherhood, I never imagined I’d ponder over questions like, “Is it acceptable for my child to use my sock as toilet paper?” or, after my toddler decided to sprinkle her great-grandparents’ ashes in her hair, “How much soap is needed to remove human remains from someone’s locks?” Spoiler alert: It takes a lot. Here are 25 other surprising inquiries I never anticipated I would ask after becoming a mom:
- Is that chocolate or something else entirely?
- Oh no, will anyone notice I’m wearing mismatched shoes?
- Can a baby actually drain your life energy through breastfeeding?
- Ketchup definitely counts as a vegetable, right?
- How is it that I graduated from college yet can’t solve a second-grade math problem?
- Wrestling this little one into her clothes counts as a workout, doesn’t it?
- Did my mom also hide in the bathroom for some peace and quiet?
- How long can a kid live on just toast?
- Is it possible for my ears to burst from the sheer volume of chatter?
- Is she being genuinely sweet, or does she want something from me?
- How long until someone actually succumbs to sleep deprivation?
- I can skip washing my face if I didn’t remove last night’s makeup, right?
- What is the exact frequency of a scream that could shatter glass?
- Does my husband really sleep that deeply, or is he just pretending?
- Yikes! When was the last time I actually checked my eyebrows?
- If I stay completely silent, will they even notice I’m here?
- How much do I really care about enforcing this rule right now?
- Did I remember to wear a bra today?
- Do I have enough patience to let her help me mix these ingredients?
- Oh no, didn’t my mother used to say that same thing?
- How did I not realize I’m a total control freak until he insisted on choosing his own outfit?
- Is Google just here to terrify me?
- Was I this unbearable as a child?
- Am I permanently damaging this kid?
- Who am I even anymore?
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In summary, motherhood brings a whirlwind of unexpected thoughts and questions that can be both amusing and perplexing. From the mundane to the bizarre, these inquiries highlight the unique journey every mom navigates.