Recently, among my circle of friends with teenagers, the topic of the legendary “first kiss” has sparked some lively discussions. While some teens have jumped headfirst into the thrilling yet perplexing world of kissing, others yearn for a simple peck like I crave my morning coffee, and then there are those who are wholly absorbed in their digital lives—after all, games like Minecraft and platforms like Instagram often seem more reliable than the unpredictable nature of teenage emotions.
Most people are fortunate enough to experience a few electrifying kisses in their lifetime, igniting beliefs in fate, soul mates, or at least the undeniable pull of attraction. However, unless you’re living in a teen movie, your first kiss is likely to be a bit underwhelming. My initial experience was uniquely memorable in its own peculiar way.
My Two Soap Opera Love Interests
At 14, I found myself as a regular on the ABC soap opera One Life to Embrace (you can read more about that journey here). In the early ’80s, the passionate romance between Luke and Laura on General Hospital captivated audiences and shifted viewer demographics, drawing in high school and college students. The producers of One Life to Embrace decided my character, Lily Taylor, the mysterious teenage daughter of Llanview’s notorious Dorian Lord, needed a boyfriend—actually, two before summer break arrived.
The network concluded that one love interest wasn’t enough. Lily would be torn between a polished country club gentleman, adored by her snobbish mother, and a rugged garage mechanic, much to her mother’s dismay. Thus began Lily’s summer of indecision.
The show’s producer pitched these ideas to my mother and me during a hurried lunch meeting at the studio. He had an amusing habit of gazing just above your head while speaking, making it hard to tell if he was addressing you or some unseen VIP. My mother bobbed her head like a confused bird, seeking reassurance that the storylines were suitable for a teen. The producer winked (at no one in particular) as he wrapped up the meeting, suggesting, “I’m sure Lila must have at least two boyfriends.”
In Reality, I Had None
Unlike Lily, I was boyfriend-less. At 14, my crushes included teen heartthrobs like Shaun Cassidy and Parker Stevenson from The Hardy Boys. I’d cut out their glossy pictures from Tiger Beat and plastered them on my wall, admiring them like works of art rather than real boys. Having attended an all-girls school from 1st through 8th grade, boys remained a mix of mystery and fear. My friends gushed about boys’ looks and charm, but I was still trying to figure it all out.
The Day I Kissed 14 Boys at 14
On a sunny April day, the stage was set for me to experience 14 first kisses, complete with a full camera crew and network executives. My mother and I learned that the network was casting for both love interests simultaneously, and I had to memorize two different scenes, each culminating in a passionate kiss.
Though my mother was ready to inform the producers about my inexperience, I insisted she keep quiet. I believed I could manage it; after all, it was just a bizarre part of the job that I found amusing. At least that’s what I thought at the time.
As I entered the studio, ready for my audition, I was greeted by my 14 would-be suitors lounging outside the rehearsal room. Half were preppy, with polished looks, while the other half sported leather jackets and scruffy appearances. They were all undeniably cute.
One particularly charming boy with sandy hair and dimples caught my eye. I couldn’t tell if he was auditioning for the posh guy or the mechanic, but his combination of looks was intoxicating. Suddenly, I grasped the concept of “sexy”—it was wanting to kiss someone’s dimples.
In a moment of panic, I dashed to call my sister, confident she could help me navigate this kissing minefield. But as the phone rang endlessly, anxiety set in. I reached out to my mom instead.
“Hey, I saw the boys,” I said, attempting to sound casual.
“Want me to come to the studio?” she asked.
“No, I’m fine.”
“You don’t sound fine.”
“It’s just…they’re….handsome. And older. You know?”
“Are you scared?”
“Um…no. Yes. I don’t know…”
“When I get nervous, I imagine them sitting naked in a field of strawberries.”
“Mooom! I don’t want to picture these guys naked!”
“Darling, remember, they were once 14 too. They’re probably more nervous than you are. And don’t forget to brush your teeth.”
“Duh.”
“And remember we all pretend to know what we’re doing.”
An Array of Kisses
That afternoon felt like a crash course in kissing. While it wasn’t romantic, my inexperienced 14-year-old self found it oddly enlightening. I amassed a wealth of knowledge about kissing that would have taken years to learn otherwise. These were actors on a mission, and I was completely clueless. Some of those kisses are still etched in my memory, like an awkward frostbite.
One fellow was overly ambitious, exploring my mouth with a fervor that left me questioning my dental hygiene. Another had a unique style that resembled theatrical flair more than genuine intimacy. Then there was the one whose nervous energy surprised me with his unpredictable tongue movements.
Amidst the chaos, I did experience one kiss that felt natural and effortless. It was like time stood still; there were no fireworks, but I felt an undeniable connection. This was with Dimple Boy, who seemed to sense my nerves and offered his charming smile before each take. Though he didn’t land a role, six months later, he returned to play my new boyfriend in yet another storyline.
Navigating the Firsts
I took my mother’s sage advice that day and pretended to know what I was doing. Life’s big moments often require a bit of fumbling, as nobody has the secret formula for these significant firsts: first kisses, first loves, first jobs, or even the heart-wrenching loss of a loved one. How I long for my mother’s gentle wisdom during those times.
That peculiar day could have left a lasting mark on my life, but instead, it taught me this: there’s no flawless first experience; it’s about finding a glimmer of perfection amid the chaos of life’s unpolished moments.
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Summary: This article reflects on the whimsical yet enlightening experience of a young actress navigating her first kisses. Through humorous anecdotes and relatable insights, the narrative captures the essence of teenage uncertainty and the beauty of imperfect experiences.