Motherhood is an extraordinary and empowering journey that alters you in ways you never anticipated. Before you know it, you’ll find yourself wandering through the grocery aisles without a bra, cheerfully praising your daughter for her latest artful creation involving finger paint and, of course, the infamous Mac & Cheese—your go-to solution for the week’s endless demands and toddler tantrums.
People will frequently commend you on being a fantastic mom, and you’ll bask in the compliments until reality hits: you’ve just spent a quarter of an hour in the bathroom scrolling through social media while your 3-year-old is on a mission to turn your important papers into confetti with a pair of scissors she discovered. It’s in these moments you realize just how much motherhood has transformed you, and that realization can be downright daunting.
After the great scissor escapade, I began to take a closer look at my day-to-day behaviors. Who is this person? Did I really just clean my son’s face with my own shirt? Am I still in my pajamas at 2:30 PM? Is this really okay?
I promise I’m okay! But as I analyze my home life, I admit that I do some peculiar things that sometimes make me want to hide away:
- When I spot my kids’ dried boogers on the wall, I choose to walk away and pretend they don’t exist. Who has time for that?
- I can’t help but make “That’s what she said” jokes to myself when my kids exclaim things like, “Mom! Look at the size of this banana!” No judgment please.
- Occasionally, I forget to prepare lunch for myself, which turns me into a ravenous beast when I discover leftover scraps on my children’s plates. Jackpot!
- When my kids refuse to listen, I channel the wisdom of their favorite show, Daniel Tiger. Thanks to him, they’ve learned to brush their teeth and share their toys. Friends help each other, yes they do!
- If I manage to shower before 2:30 PM, it’s likely because I’m in a rush. In those moments, I’ll multitask like a pro, sipping my coffee and brushing my teeth simultaneously.
- My kids inspire me to create silly songs, most of which revolve around poop. Some of my chart-toppers include: “She’s a super poop, super poop!” and “Drop it like it’s poop.”
- During hide-and-seek, I often cuddle up on the couch with a blanket and see how high I can count before they beg me to find them—so peaceful!
- Lastly, I’ve become a master butt crack inspector. After years of changing diapers, I’ve passed on my wisdom to my children, who are now impressively skilled in the art of wiping. The laundry basket has never looked better!
Motherhood is undeniably strange and a little terrifying, but it’s also everything it’s cracked up to be. I’m okay, and I assure you that you will be too. If you ever feel overwhelmed, just take a moment to retreat to the bathroom and enjoy a few glorious minutes of peace… Oops, not today, mom!
If you’re interested in more information about the journey of parenthood and home insemination, check out this resource. For insightful articles on pregnancy, visit this blog. And if you’re looking for tips on insemination, you can find helpful content here.
In summary, motherhood is a rollercoaster ride filled with unexpected twists and turns, but it’s a journey worth taking. Embrace the weirdness; you’re not alone.