I should have seen the warning signs on my to-do list. Eight errands in one morning with two lively toddler boys? A recipe for chaos. We made quick work of the bank deposit and gas station stop, where I could keep the boys safely buckled in their car seats. But just minutes into our wait for tech support at Best Buy, I sensed that the morning was about to take a turn for the worse.
My toddlers were simply being toddlers—itching to run, climb, and push buttons all over the store. By the time I reached the front of the line, the technician delivered the devastating news: our external hard drive, containing five years of family memories, was beyond repair. My heart sank as I pulled my boys away from the DVD rack, ignoring the disapproving glares from older shoppers.
After checking that off my list, I parked at the mall, only to realize I had made a classic parenting blunder: I had only brought my single stroller. After a near potty disaster (thankfully, an empty sippy cup saved the day), we made our way through Macy’s, where a brief detour to Victoria’s Secret led to yet another challenge. At Bath & Body Works, while I indulged my pregnancy cravings by sniffing every soap, I failed to notice my toddler gleefully dispensing sweet pea foaming soap all over the floor. I handed him a paper towel, feeling proud that he was cleaning up his mess.
But that pride quickly faded. As we waited in line, boredom took over, and my little one began pulling items from the display. After repeated requests for him to put everything back, I felt the eyes of the store on me. In desperation, I resorted to threats: “If you want to play at the playground, you need to behave.” But nothing seemed to work. When I tried to guide him back to the stroller, he resisted, hit me, and in the commotion, slipped and fell. Cue the piercing screams.
As I attempted to comfort him while explaining why his behavior was unacceptable, I made the tough decision to put him in the stroller. The screams persisted, and I avoided eye contact with the cashier as I tossed my soaps and coupons onto the counter. Five months pregnant, I awkwardly hoisted my 19-month-old onto my hip while trying to maneuver the stroller with my still-screaming three-year-old. Public embarrassment at its finest.
I found a couch in the mall’s walkway to regroup. I needed a moment. My toddler continued to cry, so I unbuckled him and sat him on the floor, trying to catch my breath. As I explained why he was in timeout and asked if he could follow directions, we shared a hug, though I could still feel the judgment from the older couple across from us.
At the playground, I was completely over it. I ignored my son’s antics as he jumped off the slide. When it was time to leave, he bolted toward a toy helicopter that I had repeatedly told him not to ride. That was it—time to go to the car. I pushed the stroller while my toddler wailed behind me, leaving a trail of noise that could be heard throughout the mall.
By the time we reached the produce market, I was mentally checked out. I usually respond to my kids’ requests in the car, but today I was silent. I just wanted to go home. I thought I could run in and check on them from the store’s entrance since it was a nice day. I parked close, rolled their windows down, and handed them a Lunchable.
While I grabbed some fresh produce, I darted outside to check on them. They seemed happy. Then, I spotted a police officer peering into the car. Panic set in. I rushed over, bracing myself for a lecture.
“Are you going to ticket me?” I asked, barely masking my frustration. “Maybe. Can I see your license?” she replied calmly. I handed her my ID, wishing I could disappear.
She asked what had happened, and I struggled to find the words. My day was a whirlwind of chaos, and I felt the weight of shame wash over me. All I could think about was how I had once reported on parents who faced similar situations, judging them without a second thought. Now, here I was, feeling like a failure.
The officer explained the risks of leaving children unattended, and though I understood, it didn’t lessen my embarrassment. After a warning, she let me go, sensing my distress. I drove home, tears streaming down my face, feeling defeated and exhausted.
A few days have passed, and I’m still grappling with the aftermath of that day. I know I made mistakes, but parenting can be overwhelming. If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, know that you’re not alone. For more helpful insights on home insemination and parenting, check out this excellent resource from UCSF or learn more about the Home Insemination Kit.
Summary:
In a candid recount of a challenging day with two energetic toddlers, the author reflects on the overwhelming pressures of parenting and the mistakes made along the way. From a disastrous trip to the mall to an encounter with a police officer, the experience highlights the struggles many parents face and the importance of understanding and support in the journey of parenthood.