Dear Partner: Here’s a List of My Birthday Wishes

1. self insemination kit

   A little time away from the kids. Sure, I adore our little ones, and yes, I do cherish those hand-drawn cards that only a mother could appreciate. But after that sweet breakfast of card-giving, I’m outta here! Bye-bye! Catch you later! Insert whatever 90’s slang fits, my friend.

2. A present that shows you truly see me as an individual, someone who is special, charming, and delightful. Think I’m trying to trick you? Check out my Amazon wishlist or my Etsy favorites. Is that too much to figure out, Detective?

3. A dinner date without the kiddos. You’re in charge of getting a babysitter. Yes, YOU. What was that? No, I did NOT arrange the sitter! Oh dear.

4. A handwritten card from you. It should be in your own handwriting, praising how fantastic I am. Feel free to mention how lost you’d be without me or how you knew I was “the one” from day one. Just include one of those phrases, please.

5. A full day dedicated to love and fulfilling my requests. If that means discussing the latest episode of The Bachelor over dinner, then so be it. If I need help cleaning out the garage, just grab the supplies without asking me where they are. That kind of question ruins the magic.

Here’s the catch: You should keep all these plans a secret. Please don’t snoop on my computer or ask for my Etsy login. Write that card while you’re at work. You’ve got this!

For more insightful tips about home insemination, check out this post on intrauterine insemination on Healthline. It’s an excellent resource for understanding the process. And if you’re looking for the right tools, Make a Mom offers a great selection of artificial insemination kits. You can find more details on their site.

In summary, all I want for my birthday is a little me-time, a thoughtful gift, a lovely dinner, a heartfelt card, and a day where my wishes are your command. Surprise me, and let’s make it a birthday to remember!