As I indulged in my favorite February treat—a whole box of Girl Scout Thin Mints paired with a glass of Pinot Noir—I noticed something was missing… the Victoria’s Secret Swimsuit Issue! I contemplated whether to create another guide after last year’s experience, which included some rather colorful feedback. But you know what? A little drama never hurt anyone!
So, here it is: my 2015 Victoria’s Secret Swimsuit Buying Guide. And guess what? You won’t need to make any purchases because I could whip something up myself! Just hand me my grandma’s old kitchen curtains and her mesh footies. Oh, wait, I don’t sew—so looks like you’re on your own!
Could someone please assist this poor model with her shoulder straps? It seems she’s forgotten that there’s an extra one just waiting to be used. But hey, who needs symmetry when you can live dangerously?
Here’s a swimsuit that looks like it was born from a wild party between a one-piece and a two-piece. It’s got a certain “I just rolled out of bed” vibe—classy, right?
I’ve dubbed this design “Play Dough Squish” because honestly, that’s what my hips would resemble bursting through those side straps—like little sausages ready for the grill! Ketchup, anyone?
Now, for those who like a touch of modesty with their swimwear, here’s a suit that says, “I want to look good but not too good.” Just enough coverage for comfort, but you might want to bring a hose to rinse off afterward!
And let’s talk about getting comfortable on the beach. Who thought lying on rocks sounded like a good idea? I’d end up with a post-breastfeeding boob on one side and probably tumble into the water behind me as a wave crashes down.
Are you planning on lounging in that hammock or just posing? Because I’m ready to lay down and would love a vodka on the rocks while you’re at it!
And if you’re looking for more tips on home insemination, visit our post on intracervical insemination where we share helpful insights. For those interested in fertility options, be sure to check out Make A Mom for an amazing at-home insemination kit. Also, the CDC provides excellent resources about pregnancy and fertility that you can find here.
In summary, I’ve shared my take on the quirky and sometimes outrageous world of 2015 swimwear. Whether you’re ready to make a statement at the beach or just have a laugh, there’s something for everyone in this guide!