By: Jenna Collins
Updated: March 5, 2023
As a mother of twins, I’ve discovered just how much people adore the idea of twins. I totally get it—two babies at once is pretty fascinating! However, I’ve learned to master the polite smile, the kind that says, “Yes, they’re twins, isn’t that sweet? Now, please let me move on.” But sometimes, the questions keep coming, and certain remarks can truly drive us twin moms up the wall.
So, the next time you’re at the park or grocery store and feel tempted to engage the mom with the double stroller, consider these pointers on what not to say:
WHAT NOT TO SAY: “Are they identical? A boy and a girl?”
Let’s break it down: identical twins come from a single egg that splits, resulting in two genetically identical babies. My twins, however, are of different genders and look nothing alike. They resemble siblings, which is exactly what they are—just born at the same time! If you’re ever in doubt, just check their diapers; that’ll settle any questions.
WHAT TO SAY INSTEAD:
“Fraternal twins! How delightful!” Acknowledging their uniqueness without confusion is always appreciated.
WHAT NOT TO SAY: “I always wished for twins!”
Honestly? When I found out I was having twins, my first thought was, “Oh no! Two babies means double the crying and diaper changes. Will I ever sleep again?” I love my little ones more than anything, but the reality of caring for two at once can be overwhelming. Some days, I wish it could be simpler with just one.
WHAT TO SAY INSTEAD:
“Fraternal twins! How lovely!” It’s a compliment without judgment—everyone wins.
WHAT NOT TO SAY: “Glad it’s you and not me!”
Yes, two babies can be a lot to handle, but having twins also brings immense joy. My twins share giggles, high-fives, and secret chats from their cribs. Honestly, I’m grateful to be the one with twins!
WHAT TO SAY INSTEAD:
“Fraternal twins! How lovely!” (Spotting a theme here?)
WHAT NOT TO SAY: “Now you’re done having kids!”
Where did this idea come from? Just because I have twins doesn’t mean my family planning is over. What if I want more kids? It’s a personal choice that should never be assumed or commented on.
WHAT TO SAY INSTEAD:
You guessed it—“Fraternal twins! How lovely!”
WHAT NOT TO SAY: “Are they natural twins?”
This question is a definite no-go. What does that even mean? Unless someone shares their reproductive history, it’s best to keep those inquiries to yourself. Implying that some twins are better than others is never okay.
WHAT TO SAY INSTEAD:
Just smile and move along, or you can always say, “Fraternal twins! How lovely!”
So the next time we bump into each other at the supermarket, don’t hesitate to say hello. Just remember to skip the identical twins question!
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In summary, while the excitement around twins is understandable, it’s best to approach conversations with sensitivity and respect. A little mindfulness goes a long way in making twin moms feel appreciated, not overwhelmed.