Updated: April 21, 2020
Originally Published: March 3, 2015
Imagine this: it’s a Sunday afternoon. One child has just finished clearing the driveway, while another is busy unloading the dishwasher. Meanwhile, you’re relaxing with a magazine and a warm cup of tea, basking in the serenity of a reasonably tidy kitchen… all without lifting a finger to tidy up. Sound like a daydream? It’s not! This is a typical Sunday at our house.
Related: Say Goodbye to Mess with These Simple Organizing Tips
It wasn’t always this way. In the earlier days of marriage and motherhood, chaos reigned supreme. I often found myself surrounded by clutter and feeling resentful. Why didn’t my family notice the mess and simply take action? How could they sit idly by while the house fell apart?
I’ve never been the tidiest person, and living in disarray amplified my anxiety and made it challenging to enjoy quality family time. Back then, I was responsible for nearly all the housework, yet I was often overwhelmed and grumpy about it. Then, I had a lightbulb moment: if I wanted things to improve, I needed to take charge.
Once I did, I discovered that my kids weren’t lazy; they just needed clear direction. I found out that my husband, Mark, was more than willing to help out but often didn’t realize what needed to be done. I also learned that maintaining a reasonably tidy home (it doesn’t have to be perfect!) was much simpler than I had believed.
The biggest turning point for us was recognizing the potential of my household team: my children! By delegating tasks effectively, my home became more manageable, and I felt more in control, even though I was doing less cleaning than before.
Think of your busy home as a small business. Everyone has their role, but someone must oversee the operations. This is especially clear in larger families, although even smaller households can greatly benefit from a proactive approach to home management. You don’t need fancy systems or costly organizing tools for a functional, clean home. What you do need is an adult ready to take on the management role, kids willing to cooperate, realistic expectations, and a sprinkle of patience.
The ‘Downton Abbey’ Method to Managing Your Home
Fans of the beloved British series about an aristocratic family and their team of servants understand the charm and efficiency of a well-run household. My vision of an orderly home resembles a scaled-down version of Downton Abbey—minus the formal dining etiquette. Each family member has specific tasks and knows what standards to meet.
Of course, our home is not a workplace, and my kids aren’t servants (though they’d look adorable in period costumes!). Here are four valuable lessons inspired by the Downton Abbey approach that work wonderfully in a family setting:
1. Create Specialists
The more you practice a task, the better you become at it. While I want my kids to have basic skills for any household chore, it’s smart to assign jobs to those who can do them without much oversight. For instance, while Ava is in charge of taking out the trash, Mia handles the recycling. Ethan keeps the living room tidy, and Sarah knows she’s responsible for organizing the entryway after school. With defined roles, they take pride in their responsibilities, reducing the need for constant reminders.
2. Expect Cooperation; Keep It Simple
We sometimes offer our kids a reward for extra chores, but primarily, we view housework as a team effort. It’s about working together rather than tying chores to allowances. This flexibility makes it easy to identify what needs doing and assign tasks to the most suitable helper, whether it’s the child best suited for the job or simply the one who happens to be nearby. Earlier today, I asked Mia, “Can you unload the dishwasher?” She did it—simple as that!
3. Stick to Your Realm
Just as Mrs. Patmore runs the kitchen while others manage different areas, our household thrives when adults focus on their respective strengths. For example, I oversee kitchen duties, deciding who takes on which chores. If I need Mark to handle the dishes one night, I must ask him—he doesn’t automatically volunteer. Knowing who manages what helps us avoid stepping on each other’s toes and ensures nothing important is overlooked.
4. Respect Each Other’s Domains
I used to get annoyed with Mark for not being more proactive about cleaning or meal planning. Then, I realized he dedicates significant time to tasks like car maintenance and tech support, which I often overlook. Acknowledging each other’s contributions is vital. In a busy household, even small tasks such as changing batteries can be a big deal!
You may have noticed that our roles tend to align with traditional gender norms, but this is not something we planned. We are both comfortable with our responsibilities, and it works for us. I enjoy nurturing our home, while Mark excels at tech and car issues. Whether your partnership falls into traditional roles or not, what matters is mutual respect for each other’s contributions and requests.
In summary, by adopting a management style inspired by Downton Abbey, our home has transformed into a more cooperative environment. Encourage teamwork, respect each other’s strengths, and delegate tasks to create a smoother, happier household.
For more insights into at-home insemination, check out this informative resource here. If you’re looking for quality products, visit Make a Mom for their comprehensive kits. And to learn more about our approach to home management, refer to our detailed advertiser disclosure.