Updated: August 19, 2015
Originally Published: March 4, 2015
So, “unsubstantiated,” huh? Allow me to share my thoughts on that. The idea that children are more at risk today than they were two decades ago? Unsubstantiated. The notion that kids are in imminent danger without constant adult supervision? Unsubstantiated. The belief that a potential predator will harm any child left alone for even a moment? Unsubstantiated.
What is NOT unsubstantiated, however, is the conscientious parenting practiced by Chris and Lisa Thompson, the Maryland couple who allowed their 10-year-old son and 6-year-old daughter to walk home from a nearby park unsupervised, much to the dismay of alarmed officials and overzealous online critics.
I know this might come off as a bold statement, but here it is: when a state’s legislation hinges on parental discretion (Maryland law only applies to children left at home or in a vehicle, not those outdoors), it is, indeed, the PARENTS’ DISCRETION that matters most. Not the opinions of passersby or social media commentators. Who knows these children better than their own parents? Who understands the family dynamics best? THE FAMILY. The law, in this case, suggests that outsiders should mind their own business. If you see a child who appears safe and in control, perhaps you shouldn’t call the authorities. Use your judgment.
Okay, deep breath. There are certainly exceptions to this discussion. Some family environments may be truly harmful, and there are parents who neglect their responsibilities. Instances of abuse and real neglect must be thoroughly investigated. Law enforcement and Child Protective Services must navigate the delicate balance of safeguarding children while avoiding undue stress on families. You’d think the distinction between what constitutes harm and what doesn’t would be clear-cut. Yet, we’re learning that the line is often blurred, especially with “well-intentioned” strangers prompting police and CPS investigations against ordinary families.
In this specific case, the allegations against the Thompsons were investigated. The children were interviewed, as were the parents. It was established that these children were not abandoned but rather encouraged to develop independence through practical experience. This was communicated to both law enforcement and Child Protective Services. The parents exercised their lawful discretion regarding their children’s maturity, only to have that discretion challenged.
As an army of bureaucrats and online critics converge on cases labeled as “neglect,” I want to clarify: If you disagree with a family’s choices, that’s perfectly fine. However, you cannot condemn them for parenting differently than you would. If they were breaking the law or genuinely endangering their children, then criticize away.
But to vilify a loving family for “unsubstantiated” neglect is both cowardly and unjust. If Child Protective Services believes these children were neglected, then they should stand by their claim. If not, they should leave this family alone. Sullying their reputation for the sake of vague legal protections is simply cruel. If in Maryland, allowing children to walk unaccompanied is considered neglect, then it’s time to change the law. Leaving families in a state of uncertainty due to ambiguous interpretations of protective statutes is not acceptable.
The unattended children laws in many states were designed to protect parental rights. However, it appears these laws often prioritize the judgment of strangers first, followed by law enforcement and then Child Protective Services. In the case of the Thompsons, the only thing truly unsubstantiated is the effectiveness of Maryland’s Unattended Children’s Law. This situation is unfortunate because some children genuinely need protection, but not necessarily from parenting styles that differ from the norms of those passing by.
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In summary, while the ruling of unsubstantiated child neglect raises questions about parental judgment, it highlights broader issues about societal perceptions of parenting. We need to allow parents to make decisions regarding their children’s independence without fear of unwarranted scrutiny.