Dear Sweet Firstborn,
I owe you a heartfelt apology for how much I obsessed over your sleep patterns. Some of my most challenging moments as a parent revolved around trying to get you to nap during those early years. I lost my cool, I shouted, and I often left you in tears. In hindsight, it was not your need for sleep that was the issue—it was my frantic attempts to enforce it. I truly regret that.
I also want to apologize for the amount of time you spent around adults. Being an only child myself, and with your dad’s family living far away, you didn’t have many cousins to play with. I had yet to find my tribe of mom friends, which meant you often became the center of adult conversations. While I appreciate your responsible nature, I sometimes wonder if I unintentionally stifled the carefree essence of your childhood.
I’m sorry for all those bland homemade baby foods you endured. Your little sister, on the other hand, has enjoyed a much more diverse menu since day one. For too long, you munched on plain sweet potatoes, carrots, and peas, all steamed in my trusty Beaba Cooker. I hope one day you can embrace the joy of flavors and spices.
I regret dragging you to every baby class I could find before you could even hold your head up. I was craving adult interaction, and you were my perfect excuse.
Additionally, I apologize for my overzealous approach to discipline. We were learning the ropes, and I realize we were too strict at times. We yelled and enforced timeouts far too liberally. It’s a learning curve, and I’m sorry you bore the brunt of it.
You still carry the weight of our parenting trial-and-error phase. You’re the one who gets to navigate homework, curfews, and college applications first, while I grapple with my own expectations of being the “perfect” mom. You made me a mother, and that is a gift beyond measure. I recognize that’s a hefty load for one child, and for that, I apologize.
Thank heavens for your siblings, who help lighten the load!
With all my love,
Mom
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Summary
This letter expresses a mother’s heartfelt apologies to her firstborn child, reflecting on her parenting mistakes, the pressures of early motherhood, and the lessons learned along the way. With a blend of humor and sincerity, she acknowledges how her experiences shaped both her and her child, emphasizing the unique bond they share.