1. Denial
Oh no! Is that a prickly sensation in my throat? Surely not! After dedicating a week of my life to nursing my ailing partner, I’ve kept him isolated in the bedroom while I’ve been sleeping on the couch, embodying the spirit of a selfless caregiver. I’ve stocked every room with hand sanitizer and used it like a pro. I’ve been eating healthily, hydrating, taking my vitamins, and getting plenty of rest. I’m a picture of health—there’s no way I’m catching this cold!
2. Frustration
My partner has passed this cold to me, and I’m livid. After a week of tending to that germ-infested menace, this is how I’m repaid? My throat feels like sandpaper, my eyes are watering, and I’m left with just enough energy to demonstrate to him how to boil water for my tea. I also harbor a deep resentment towards myself for being unable to take care of my child, keep up with household tasks, or indulge in my guilty pleasure of binge-watching shows. That last one really hits hard. I bet Claire Underwood could conquer a cold with sheer determination, and if she ever got sick, she’d look fabulous in her designer pajamas.
3. Bargaining
Please, I beg you—do not let my little one catch this bug. I can handle one whiny child, but not two! If I can keep my toddler healthy, I vow to tackle all those chores I’ve been neglecting. Even cleaning out the refrigerator sounds more appealing than managing a sick child while I’m feeling this way—though, honestly, chasing after a lively toddler isn’t exactly a walk in the park either.
4. Melancholy
Will I ever breathe freely again? My sinuses feel like they’re on the verge of bursting. My mom calls to suggest that my cold could be avoided if I just used more hand sanitizer. I’m too exhausted to argue. Days drag on filled with endless episodes of children’s shows, while nights are consumed with my own relentless coughing fits.
5. Acceptance
Three days without a shower have left me feeling like a zombie, surviving on nothing but applesauce and spicy chicken soup. My partner looks horrified at my snot-covered state, and I barely register his fast-food dinners or the fact that my child is munching on crayons. At least they’re both still hungry. Despite it all, a tiny spark of hope remains—I might one day look back at this and chuckle. Perhaps I’ll even write about it. But that day is not today. Right now, I’m surrendering. I’ll close my eyes, sink into my mountain of tissues, and hope that NyQuil will rescue me.
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Summary
This article humorously outlines the five stages of dealing with a cold, from denial and frustration to bargaining, melancholy, and ultimately acceptance. Through relatable anecdotes, it captures the struggle of being a caregiver while fighting off illness, all while maintaining a light-hearted tone.