My Life Would Not Be Possible Without Feminism

self insemination kit

I recently tied the knot and now share my life with two amazing kids and a cozy home. I also hold a full-time job. At first glance, none of this may seem extraordinary; perhaps you can relate to my circumstances. However, had I been born just half a century earlier, many of my current rights—the freedom to love who I choose, make decisions about my own body, and own property—would have been out of reach.

While I won’t delve into a lengthy history of feminism—mostly because I’m not an expert on the subject—it’s crucial to acknowledge that my life as it is today owes much to the feminist movement. In the mid-1800s, women in the United States finally gained the right to own property. This might not seem significant today, but back then, women were often regarded as property themselves. Their fathers or husbands owned them, along with any land or money they possessed. If a husband passed away, a wife might inherit his property, yet she often lacked the right to manage it. This established a legacy that continues to influence discussions around women’s rights, from pro-choice debates to marriage laws.

After I graduated from college—a step that opened the door to contributing to society beyond domestic duties—I found a job. This job provided me with a paycheck that I used to pay rent, indulge in meals out, and, yes, gain a few extra pounds. It was my hard work that allowed me the freedom to enjoy my life. Feminists before me fought for the ability of women to thrive independently, without relying on a father or husband. For that, I’m truly grateful.

While savoring my favorite blue cheese and paying my share of rent, I fell in love with a remarkable woman named Laura, who had her own paycheck and a home she bought herself. After over a year of dating, we wanted to commit to each other fully. However, the legal framework at the time didn’t recognize our relationship, leaving us to navigate uncharted territory. So, we opted to buy property together and opened a joint bank account. This arrangement, while recognized by our employers for benefits like health insurance, didn’t quite shape societal views on our commitment. Even in restaurants, we were often asked if we wanted separate checks.

Ten years and four dogs later, we decided we wanted to start a family. This is where the financial aspect came into play. I invested in blood tests, medical procedures, and sperm donations—all of which were not fully covered by health insurance, despite my generous plan. After three challenging years filled with credit card debt and emotional strain, I finally gave birth to our daughter. A couple of years later, our second daughter came into the world.

Legally, I was recognized as the parent, while Laura had to adopt our children. This entailed paying for a social services evaluation of our home and relationship to determine if she qualified as a parent. I had to testify in court about her role as a loving, involved parent, despite the fact that she was there through every moment of our children’s lives.

Then, one day, months after our eldest started kindergarten, I received a call from Laura. “The Attorney General is issuing marriage licenses,” she said.

“How ironic!” I replied. “Do you want to get married again?”

“Not really, but if it means something to you, I will.”

Just the week before, we had flown to Chicago—just the two of us—to get married without fanfare, eager to secure our rights before a potential law change.

Navigating these legalities and exercising the rights I fought for has been a challenge, especially since we often earn 76 cents for every dollar a man would make in the same position. We’ve had to jump through countless hoops to gain recognition and rights that might have been straightforward if we were a heterosexual couple with the same circumstances. Nonetheless, I remain incredibly thankful for what I have. Many people face far greater struggles.

So, when celebrities like Nicki Minaj, Shailene Woodley, and Carrie Underwood question whether they qualify as feminists, I urge them to reflect on their wealth and privileges. Would they choose to relinquish their freedom and independence to their fathers or brothers, simply because women shouldn’t own property? The choice belongs to them. That ability to choose—that’s feminism.

For more insights on this topic, check out this article on home insemination. It’s an excellent resource, especially if you’re considering options for starting a family.

In summary, my life today is a testament to the feminist movement, which has shaped my rights and freedoms, allowing me to love, work, and raise a family on my own terms.