12 Signs It May Be Time to Pour Yourself a Glass of Wine

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Motherhood can be quite the demanding adventure. You’re always on duty, perpetually sleep-deprived, and while vacations do exist, they often come with the added challenge of managing little ones. It’s easy to be tempted by a relaxing glass of wine after a long day. And sometimes, that’s perfectly acceptable! To help ensure that I enjoy it in moderation, I follow a few lighthearted guidelines. Here are 12 signs it might be time for that well-deserved glass:

  1. If you calculate the total minutes of napping and divide by the number of kids under five, and the result is less than 60, it’s wine o’clock.
  2. You’ve adhered to the Poop Rule of Twos: in a given hour, you’ve either (1) had direct contact with poop for at least two minutes; (2) talked about poop for four minutes; or (3) thought about poop for eight minutes.
  3. Your little one had a timeout that required you to hold the door closed to prevent any escape attempts. Wait, scratch that—just the fact they needed a timeout is enough!
  4. It’s a snow day or a sick day. And by “snow,” I mean any precipitation that keeps you indoors. Also, let’s not be too picky about what constitutes “sick.” A sniffle or a tiny splinter definitely qualifies. If you had to visit the ER, you’re allowed wine for the week!
  5. If you hear “Mommy!” or “Mom?” uttered 27 times or more within 30 minutes, it’s a clear sign.
  6. You’re preparing dinner, even if it’s just quesadillas or mac & cheese. Seriously, anything cheesy calls for wine—yes, even cheese sticks!
  7. If you had to work today, even if it was from home, you’ve earned that glass. And yes, being a stay-at-home parent definitely counts as working from home.
  8. While unloading the dishwasher, you find it too much effort to put the wine glasses away.
  9. You’re in need of corks for some crafty project.
  10. Or perhaps you’re simply seeking inspiration for your next cork creation.
  11. There’s an open bottle of wine staring at you. Or perhaps you forgot to uncork a bottle last night—no judgment here!
  12. If it’s after 5 p.m. in any major city across five time zones from you, go ahead! Unless it’s the weekend, in which case, feel free to indulge if it’s bubbly.

So there you have it! These playful guidelines have certainly helped me, and I hope they bring a smile to your day as well.

For more insights on parenting and tips, check out our other posts, including one on home insemination kits at intracervicalinsemination.com. If you’re looking for ways to boost fertility, makeamom.com is a great authority on the subject. For excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination, visit Hopkins Medicine.

Summary

Motherhood can be exhausting, and sometimes you just need a glass of wine to unwind. This lighthearted list provides twelve signs that it might just be the right time to pour yourself a drink. Whether it’s the number of times your child has called for you or the amount of sleep you’ve managed to catch, these playful indicators can help you gauge when it’s time to relax with a glass of your favorite wine.