Let me be honest: I am a selfish mom. No question about it. Just last night, I indulged in the biggest bowl of ice cream—me, myself, and I. My husband and kids? They didn’t get a scoop.
This morning, while savoring my coffee and catching up on the first ten minutes of the Today Show, I let my eight and eleven-year-olds handle their own lunch preparations. Sure, I kept an eye on them from the couch, but hey, I was in the middle of an important news segment (not to mention my not-so-secret crush on Matt Lauer).
And after I wrap up this post, I’m heading out for a long, challenging run with two friends while my husband and kids are busy with their own activities. Yes, there’s grocery shopping to tackle, but no one’s going hungry at home while I squeeze in a workout.
Just last week, I had lunch with a friend—not for any urgent reason, but simply to reconnect and share a few laughs about our chaotic lives. I did this twice! And guess what? I’ve managed to finish two books this month, often during the kids’ waking hours. One Sunday, I even spent three glorious hours reading outside on a chaise lounge, sipping seltzer with lime, while the laundry collected dust in the laundry room. Yep, I’ll own it: that’s undeniably selfish.
Or is it?
Every day, I encounter moms who sigh and say things like, “I can’t remember the last time I had a shower,” or “I haven’t picked up a book in ages!” It’s often said with a resigned smile, as if to imply that losing oneself is just part of motherhood. Well, I call nonsense on that!
Who decided that mothers must constantly give of themselves without taking a moment for personal joy? If anyone’s writing that rule, I’m not signing up for that newsletter.
Growing up, I was always fascinated by my mom’s closet filled with beautiful shoes and dresses. I would play dress-up, trying on her elegant outfits. She had lovely things for going out, but she never grumbled about my less glamorous wardrobe. My mom taught me the importance of treating oneself amidst the chaos of daily life. Whether it was a good haircut or catching up with a friend over coffee, she showed me that self-care matters.
Now, I understand that when you’re knee-deep in toddler tantrums or juggling a newborn, stealing away for a pedicure can feel impossible. But you can still find small moments to pamper yourself during the day. Sometimes that broken cookie can be yours, or you can take a few minutes to scroll through your social media instead of pushing the toddler on the swing for the hundredth time.
Of course, I’m not suggesting you abandon your responsibilities entirely. As mothers, we’re wired to nurture and support our children. But somewhere along the way, we’ve forgotten to nurture ourselves.
Here’s the truth: if you don’t take care of yourself emotionally, physically, and spiritually, you won’t be able to care for others effectively. Trust me, a little self-pampering can go a long way. Imagine how much easier it would be to handle a toddler’s meltdown after a refreshing pedicure!
I know those days where everything feels like an uphill battle. But remember, the chaos will still be there after you take a quick shower or enjoy a moment of solitude. So go ahead and indulge yourself—take that long shower or read that book.
I’ll say it clearly: THE WORLD WON’T END IF YOU PUT YOURSELF FIRST SOME OF THE TIME. Your kids won’t suffer if you take a few minutes to unwind. In fact, they might just surprise you by figuring things out on their own in your absence.
So, today, make a point to treat yourself. Grab that big bowl of ice cream. Order the fancy coffee. Push yourself a little further on your run. And if your toddler wonders why they’re getting the broken cracker, just wink and say, “Because I’m the Mommy, that’s why.”
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Summary
Being a mom doesn’t mean you should neglect your own needs and desires. It’s okay to indulge in self-care, whether that’s enjoying a bowl of ice cream or taking time for yourself during a busy day. The importance of nurturing your own well-being cannot be overstated; it ultimately enables you to be a better parent. So go ahead, treat yourself—you deserve it!