As the parent of a high school junior, I’ve been feeling the mounting pressure as graduation approaches. It’s the typical college prep stress: standardized tests, financial aid seminars, campus tours—the whole nine yards. There’s a lot on my son’s plate and an equal amount on mine as a parent.
According to the numerous college planning checklists I’ve combed through, I should be more proactive and anxious about Jacob’s future. I haven’t enrolled him in an ACT prep course, nor have I explored admission requirements for local universities. We’ve skipped college fairs and haven’t mapped out any campus visits or scholarship opportunities.
To be honest, Jacob, who is an average student, likely won’t get into the top universities in our state, let alone secure merit-based financial aid. However, my indifference runs deeper than academic statistics. While I appreciate the value of higher education, I believe many teenagers aren’t ready to jump directly into college right after high school—or perhaps ever.
I can relate to that feeling. During my high school years, I was more focused on social events and creative pursuits than on academics. There’s a reason I spent half my senior year grounded! I could muster concentration during classes I enjoyed, like choir and composition, but I often found myself daydreaming during subjects like chemistry and trigonometry. It wasn’t solely about poor study habits; I simply lacked the motivation to put in the effort, regardless of the potential consequences.
When my friends headed off to college, I followed suit. I enrolled at a mid-sized state university with a friend. While I had a blast socially, I struggled academically. Four semesters later, I dropped out with a disappointing GPA, a mountain of student debt, and still no clarity on what I wanted to do with my life.
Eventually, I returned to school as a mom and a more mature adult. This time, I focused and earned straight A’s. However, once I sold an article to a national publication and realized I could earn a living as a writer, I questioned whether a college degree was necessary for my success. School was a financial burden, and with young kids at home, balancing a freelance career with completing my degree felt overwhelming. So, I left school again, this time with no regrets.
Now, over a decade later, I find myself navigating the tricky waters of encouraging my son in a system I didn’t complete myself.
“College is a scam,” Jacob remarked the other day.
I instinctively disagreed, but he pointed out that both my husband, Mark, and I didn’t finish our degrees, yet we’re doing well. He’s right—Mark also attended college but has built a successful career as an IT technician with just a few certifications. His success stems from perseverance, self-teaching, and a personable nature that earns clients’ trust. As for me, I’ve been a full-time writer for nearly a decade. Together, we provide for our family comfortably, even if we’re not wealthy.
I recognize that our situation is not the norm. A college degree often enhances employability, and self-employment isn’t for everyone—something I acknowledge without judgment. Sometimes, I wonder if I’m crazy for choosing this unpredictable lifestyle.
However, it’s not surprising that among our five children, at least one would take a non-traditional route—like Jacob, who is our firstborn and the one we’re still learning how to support. He feels the weight of our expectations and the pressure to excel.
I have every confidence that Jacob will achieve great things in his own unique way. Still, I don’t believe his journey needs to follow the conventional path of high school to college to career. A few conversations with him reassure me that he’ll find his own way.
If more parents embraced this perspective, it could alleviate a lot of unnecessary stress, struggles, and even crippling debt for young adults. My viewpoint is quite different from that of the typical parent. I see the beauty in a self-directed career path and take pride in my achievements without a degree. I’m certain that Mark and I are more financially successful than we might have been had we adhered closely to traditional routes.
I occasionally worry about how other parents perceive my laid-back attitude towards Jacob’s post-high school plans. However, my primary responsibility as a parent is to understand and appreciate each of my children for who they are. My goal is to guide them into adulthood in a way that suits them, regardless of societal expectations.
Many of our kids may want to pursue college, and while I don’t fully grasp that inclination, I’m more than okay with it. But if Jacob decides to take a different route—whether it’s exploring business, acquiring a trade, or becoming an artist or writer, as long as he is engaged, working hard, and broadening his horizons, then I’ll be more than satisfied.
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Summary
This article expresses a parent’s perspective on the pressure surrounding college education for their child. The author shares personal experiences that led to a belief that college isn’t the only path to success, emphasizing the importance of self-directed growth and understanding each child’s unique journey.