Updated: December 18, 2023
Originally Published: March 26, 2015
Watching little Mia mimic adult reactions to stress can be both entertaining and educational. She clearly associates certain activities with stress and has her own ideas on how to respond. However, when it comes to real-life stress, children often struggle to identify its sources or articulate their feelings. Their developing minds and bodies make them particularly vulnerable to the adverse effects of prolonged stress.
Historically, the term “stress” has been linked to negative emotions, but Dr. Hans Selye originally defined it in 1936 as “the non-specific response of the body to any demand for change.” In this sense, stress can be a normal and even beneficial reaction to stimuli. Experiencing low levels of stress is important for children, as it helps them learn coping mechanisms and adapt to new situations. “Positive stress” is typically short-lived, causes minor physical changes, and can foster healthy development when properly managed.
Conversely, excessive stress, known as “toxic stress,” can be detrimental to a child’s physical and neurological health. Long-term exposure to stressors like abuse, neglect, or witnessing violence can lead to a range of issues, according to the CDC. Chronic stress weakens the immune system, hampers memory, and may even reduce a child’s IQ. These effects stem from the significant neurological disruption that occurs when children are repeatedly subjected to harmful situations beyond their control.
Parents need not fear that their children will encounter some stress; rather, they must be attentive to ensure that only positive stressors are present. Severe stressors like divorce or the loss of a loved one can be navigated, especially if a child has the support of a nurturing adult. Research indicates that even toxic stress can be mitigated or reversed through the consistent presence and responsiveness of a caregiver.
A stable environment filled with love allows children to develop healthy coping strategies. It’s completely normal for your child to have a meltdown during a visit to the doctor or to cry when learning to sleep independently. These instances are simply forms of positive stress that are part of their growth journey.
Mimicking adults is an essential part of childhood development, which is why I found myself chuckling at Mia’s dramatics while offering her a refreshing glass of lemonade with lunch. For more insights on parenting, check out this post on our other blog.
In summary, while children will inevitably encounter stress, it’s crucial for parents to differentiate between beneficial and harmful stress. Supportive relationships and a nurturing environment play a key role in helping children manage their stress levels effectively.