During a recent work conference in Portland, I found myself sitting across from a well-meaning non-parent who, upon learning I manage a parenting blog, felt compelled to share her thoughts on raising kids. As she spoke, my mind wandered to the countless unsolicited parenting tips I’ve received from those without children, and I couldn’t help but think about how I’d like to respond. Here are a few common nuggets of “wisdom” and my reactions to them.
“Don’t let them eat in the car. Then it won’t be a mess.”
Really? Have you ever attempted a long drive with a hungry toddler? Picture being trapped in a moving vehicle with little ones wailing for snacks, their sticky fingers constantly poking each other. After enduring this daily chaos, you’d likely resort to any means necessary to maintain some semblance of peace. Sometimes, it feels like the backseat of my car is a battleground, and if handing out fruit snacks keeps the peace, then so be it—even if those snacks end up embedded in the upholstery.
“Your kids wouldn’t be picky eaters if you didn’t offer them other options.”
Have you ever had guests over and felt their horror at what you served for dinner? It’s not as simple as just being strict or offering alternatives. Getting my kids to try a new dish can feel like pulling teeth. I often find myself watching them recoil in horror at a burrito, gnashing their teeth and making me feel like a monster for not serving up dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets. It’s a relentless battle at every meal, and sometimes I’m tempted to throw in the towel and serve nothing but mac and cheese.
“If you truly cared about your kids, you wouldn’t take them to McDonald’s.”
If you had children, you’d know that fast food is practically unavoidable. I can’t stand McDonald’s—the food, the clutter of toys in my car—but kids love it, just like you enjoy your favorite coffee shop. Sure, it’s not the healthiest choice, but sometimes, it’s just what you need to make a hectic day a little easier.
“You need to stop letting your children control your life.”
What does that even mean? Should I just leave them outside with a bowl of chips? Or take them out without shoes because I can’t find them in time? Being a parent means my kids are my world. If they weren’t, I wouldn’t be doing my job right. Parenting is a full-time commitment, and my focus is on raising them well—otherwise, I might as well be neglecting them.
“I don’t understand why you’re so tired all the time. Just tell your kids to go back to bed.”
Oh, really? And then what? Last time I told my 5-year-old to return to bed at 5 a.m., she threw a fit that woke everyone in the house. It’s not as easy as it sounds to get a child to do what you want, and it often leads to chaos that lasts all day.
“My dogs have the same problem. I just make sure they know who’s the boss.”
Comparing my kids to dogs? That’s a stretch. Sure, they can both make a mess, but kids are a whole different ballgame. I might think I’m the one in charge, but they often dictate the rules. Parenting is about navigating countless tiny challenges that take years of patience and effort to resolve. So please, keep the pet comparisons to yourself.
In conclusion, parenting is a complex journey filled with its own unique challenges. For those looking for more insights into the world of family life and the intricacies of home insemination, check out this excellent resource on donor insemination, or learn more about the home insemination kit from a trusted authority.
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Summary
Parenting advice from non-parents can often miss the mark, overlooking the nuances of raising children. From managing picky eaters to navigating fast food dilemmas, the complexities of parenthood require understanding and patience. It’s important to remember that every family dynamic is different, and sometimes, the best advice comes from experience rather than assumptions.