Believe it or not, we truly experienced this. If we had been fixated on our own vintage version of Doctor Who—whatever that might have entailed—we would have had to engage in real conversations with our friends. Yet, I can hardly recall discussing TV shows with my peers. By the time we reached our teenage years, watching TV was just part of our lives, something we did frequently but seldom talked about.
Music was another cornerstone of our lives. We listened to it constantly and often discussed our favorite artists. Knowing what type of music your friends enjoyed was crucial; it was more than enough. I vividly remember the first music video I ever saw—Billy Idol’s “White Wedding”—at a friend’s gathering, despite having heard about MTV for an entire year prior. The anticipation was nearly unbearable.
What we did, though, was write notes. We exchanged notes during class, in the hallways, and sometimes even at home to share the next day. There was a phase where I began writing notes to a boy in one of my classes simply because he bore a resemblance to someone I knew. For an entire year, we passed notes back and forth (with the girl in between us begrudgingly delivering them) without ever speaking face-to-face. As time went on, our notes grew more intimate. I’m pretty sure we declared our love for one another in those notes, but I thought it was merely playful banter.
Years later, when I stumbled upon those notes as an adult, it was clear that this boy truly cared for me, while I had been blissfully unaware. I still remember the pang of sadness when I saw him the following year in the hallways, holding hands with another girl. At the time, I didn’t think much of it, but re-reading those notes filled me with regret, prompting me to discard them. I couldn’t bear the reminder of the frivolous girl I once was.
We also spent countless hours on the phone, chatting until our ears felt hot and ringing. I suspect this is why I struggle to hear from my right ear, my designated phone ear, even today. Conversations would revolve around everything that had happened at school just hours before. We felt an urgent need to stay connected.
And, of course, we met in person. We watched movies together, slept over at each other’s houses (sometimes claiming to be at other friends’ homes), and gathered at parties. We could stand on street corners for hours, discussing our plans for the night, so engrossed in conversation that time slipped away and the world around us faded into the darkness.
It was all about talking. We simply couldn’t get enough of each other’s voices, sharing a connection that transcended generations of teenagers, possibly even reaching back to the dawn of adolescence itself.
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In summary, life before the internet was filled with handwritten notes, long phone calls, and face-to-face conversations that deepened our friendships and connections. Those moments shaped our teenage years in ways that are still cherished today.