Navigating the waters of motherhood with a preteen daughter can be quite the challenge. Some days, I feel like I’m stuck on repeat, uttering the same phrases only to be met with dramatic eye rolls and heavy sighs. These mantras seem like essential lessons every mother must pass along, often met with the same indifference as generations before. It’s both fascinating and a bit unnerving to see how my daughter expresses her feelings so openly. This made me reflect: what if I had the courage to share my true thoughts? Here’s my attempt at honesty.
What I Say: “You don’t know everything.”
What I Mean: Honestly, I’m worried you might be smarter than me. As a mom, I thought I’d have it all figured out by now, but most days, I’m just figuring it out as I go.
What I Say: “Please be nice to your brothers; they really look up to you.”
What I Mean: Stop being a pest. Sure, brothers can be annoying and messy, but they admire you. Your relationship with them shapes how they’ll treat others in the future. Let’s avoid them growing up to be overly bossy.
What I Say: “You can always come to me about sex.”
What I Mean: We both know these conversations make me awkward. When you were four and asked about your vagina, I called it your “front butt.” And when you were eight and wanted to know how babies were made, I told you I ate a magic bean, and poof, a baby appeared. So, when you mentioned condoms and said, “My friend told me about them,” I panicked and exclaimed, “I have way more experience with condoms than your friends!” You were right to find that cringe-worthy.
What I Say: “Stop being so dramatic.”
What I Mean: I get it; it feels like the world is against you sometimes. I often feel that way too. You may never have complete control over your hormones, but let’s rein in the theatrics.
What I Say: “If you roll your eyes at me one more time…”
What I Mean: I’m about to have a meltdown, and you’ll send me spiraling into a fit if those eyes roll again. Plus, I’ll need to call my mom to apologize for my own eye rolls when I was your age.
What I Say: “Pick up your clothes; I’m not your maid.”
What I Mean: I wish I could stop playing the maid role.
What I Say: “Go to your room before I say something I’ll regret.”
What I Mean: Please leave me be so I can vent my frustrations behind your back.
What I Say: “Be careful.”
What I Mean: There are countless dangers when you’re out of my sight. If something happened to you, I would be lost forever. You mean the world to me, and my love for you is overwhelming.
What I Say: “Stop eating candy.”
What I Mean: I’m secretly worried there won’t be any left for me!
What I Say: “Boys can wait.”
What I Mean: Don’t rush into anything serious. Enjoy being young! I remember reading you “Chickerella” when you were little. It was a twist on Cinderella, where instead of getting married, they started a fashion business together—no marriage or kids, and that’s totally fine.
What I Say: “I don’t like you spending time with that girl.”
What I Mean: I see trouble ahead. That girl might just lead you down a rocky path. Choose your friends wisely; trust your instincts.
What I Say: “Do your homework.”
What I Mean: Please, for the love of all that’s good, don’t ask me to help with your math. I don’t understand any of it, and I’m worried I missed some new math trend from the ‘90s.
What I Say: “I’m NOT going to tell you again…”
What I Mean: We both know I’ll probably tell you five more times. It’s astounding how many things I would buy you if you listened the first time. Instead, my yoga pants collection continues to grow!
In conclusion, being a mom to a preteen is a rollercoaster of emotions and experiences. While I may not always express my true feelings, I hope my daughter can understand the love and concern behind my words. It’s all part of this journey together, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
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