What do Gwyneth Paltrow and I have in common? We both appreciate the luxurious texture of hard coconut oil in our mouths. Indeed, the GOOP guru endorses oil pulling, and it seems I’m jumping on the bandwagon. This trendy practice involves swishing oil in your mouth for 10 to 20 minutes each morning before breakfast, and it’s gaining popularity, reminiscent of how neti pots took off in the 80s. Back then, unless you were part of a wellness community, you probably hadn’t heard of a neti pot. Fast forward to a recent lunch with my 87-year-old Aunt Miriam, who, upon noticing my cold, excitedly suggested, “Have you tried a neti pot? It’s amazing!” and even offered to show me how.
I can hear your thoughts. Twenty minutes? That’s practically half an episode of Mad Men! I felt the same way—who has time for that?
A quick search online reveals a plethora of articles on oil pulling. I feel like I’m a year too late to this wellness craze. After diving into a sea of information, it became clear that most sources were recycling the same celebrity endorsements and dentist quotes, all fishing from a shallow pond.
Dr. Marc Lowenberg, a high-profile cosmetic dentist based in New York City, is often cited. With celebrity clients like Russell Simmons and Cyndi Lauper, he champions oil pulling, explaining, “The toxins in your body are fat-soluble, so they bond with the oil and are expelled when you spit it out. Given the plaque in our mouths, it makes sense that there would be a decrease.” Young actress Shailene Woodley is also a fan, though she opts for sesame oil instead of Gwyneth’s preferred coconut variety. This could lead to an exciting “oil-off”!
While I trust Gwyneth—who doesn’t?—I’m eager to hear from some experts. Some articles credit Dr. F. Karach, M.D. with reviving this ancient practice when he presented on it in 1992 to the Academy of Sciences in the USSR. He believes humans are only living half their potential lifespan and could reach 140 to 150 years.
Historically, oil pulling is mentioned in the ancient Ayurvedic text, the Charaka Samhita, dating back to 700 BC, claiming it strengthens the jaws, enhances taste, and prevents throat dryness. This sounds promising; I could use stronger teeth and perhaps a little less flabbiness.
By the 1990s, many in India were attributing various health benefits to oil pulling, from alleviating aches to reversing heart disease. A survey by Andhra Jyoti found that 89% of respondents reported improvements like clearer skin and better digestion. Exciting, right? I wonder if this could help my persistent lower back pain.
However, skeptics from sites like snopes.com and skeptoid.com argue that the claims are unfounded. The only way to find out is to try it myself.
Day 1
The guidelines suggest swishing on an empty stomach. I rise early and grab the oil. One tablespoon in, it quickly melts into liquid. As I fidget around the house, I’m unsure how to kill time. Ten minutes in, my son, Ethan, wakes up, so I spit into the compost bin—definitely not the sink, as it could cause clogs. My mouth feels incredibly fresh, and my jaw is working out. For the next two hours, I can’t stop rubbing my tongue against my surprisingly smooth teeth—it’s been ages since I’ve felt this sensation!
Day 2
I wake up in the middle of the night and take advantage of the quiet to swish oil before returning to bed. In the morning, my breath is fresh, and flossing is remarkably easy.
Day 3
This morning, I’m up with my two boys. To my surprise, they find my antics amusing rather than bothersome. My tongue seems less preoccupied today. Are my teeth still as smooth, or has the novelty worn off? After a shower, I glance in the mirror—my skin appears clearer, and my teeth look whiter. Oddly enough, my lower back pain has flared up. Could it be the result of yesterday’s desk work or the cold weather? Or could it perhaps be a cleansing reaction, just as I read in some articles, and I’ll soon feel better?
Day 4
After a vigorous swish this morning, I feel unexpectedly cheerful. During lunch, I notice that my teeth are much less sensitive while enjoying sauerkraut—just as the Charaka Samhita suggested. My gums feel healthier too; no more bleeding or pain while flossing!
Day 5
Today is a real test. I’ve been binge-watching the HBO series Deadwood, and let’s just say I indulged in a little too much whiskey last night. My tablespoon of coconut oil looks less than appealing, but I’m committed to this Paltrow-inspired journey. To my shock, after oil pulling, my hangover vanishes—within 15 minutes, I transition from queasy to energetic!
Day 6
Benji, my youngest, has been under the weather, and I may have caught his germs. I wake up with a scratchy throat—oh no! But here comes Captain Coconut to the rescue! After 15 minutes of swishing, I’m feeling rejuvenated. Can I get an Amen?
I’ve completed a week of oil pulling and intend to keep it up. Is this something I’ll continue to do? Absolutely. However, I must consider a few things. Firstly, my wife, Lucy, is starting to look a bit disgusted when I spit all that frothy oil into the trash. Secondly, there’s only so long she’ll tolerate my inability to speak while preparing the kids for school. And let’s be honest, if this oil pulling miracle works and I live to 150, I’d miss my family far too much.
In conclusion, this experiment has been enlightening, and I look forward to exploring more wellness practices. For those curious, check out this resource on pregnancy and home insemination for further information.