Ever since my twenties, I’ve dreamed of having deep conversations with a child. That’s how I connect with those around me. So when my daughter, Mia, finally started talking, I was overjoyed. But as anyone knows, parenting has its ups and downs. While chatting about our favorite superheroes is fantastic, there are certain things that Mia, now 5 ½, says that really get under my skin. The “good mom” in me usually responds kindly, but the “real mom” wants to scream. Here’s how it plays out:
1) “Mommy, will you play with me?”
It’s Saturday morning, and I’ve barely had my first cup of coffee.
GOOD MOMMY, TAKE 1
Good Mommy: (sighing) Sure! What do you want to play?
Mia: Let’s play restaurant!
Good Mommy: What’s on the menu?
Mia: We’ll serve cupcakes and hot dogs! You can pretend to order!
Good Mommy: Can we just do a puzzle instead?
Mia: Oh come on! It’ll be fun!
Good Mommy: (exhaling) Alright, let’s do it.
REAL MOMMY, TAKE 2
Mia: Mommy, will you play with me?
Real Mommy: What do you want to play?
Mia: Restaurant!
Real Mommy: Oh no, please! I absolutely dread pretend play. It never ends, and I’ll just have to keep pretending to order things I don’t even want while all I really want is to relax with my coffee and read about the latest celebrity gossip.
2) “My bottom is itchy.”
This typically happens when we’re rushing to school, surrounded by a crowd.
GOOD MOMMY, TAKE 1
Good Mommy: Alright, sweetie. We’ll take care of it as soon as we get to school.
Mia: (crying softly) No! Mommy, please!
Good Mommy: (turning us away from the crowd, grabbing a tissue) Just a second!
(As I try to help her in a discreet manner)
Good Mommy: Better?
(Mia nods.)
Good Mommy: I know, honey. It’s tough when that happens.
REAL MOMMY, TAKE 2
Real Mommy: Sorry, but you’ll have to wait until we get to school.
(Crying grows louder.)
Real Mommy: First of all, calm down! Second, how is your bottom itchy when I wiped it clean a million times last night? And lastly, I look like a total weirdo doing this in public! Oh, and let’s not forget, I also hear “My vagina’s itchy” too!
3) “Why are you being so mean?”
GOOD MOMMY, TAKE 1
Good Mommy: Remember how I said I get tired when you don’t listen? I really need to finish your bedtime routine so I can get some rest.
Mia: But you don’t have to be mean!
Good Mommy: You’re right. I’m sorry for being harsh. Do you forgive me?
Mia: Yes.
(We share a hug.)
REAL MOMMY, TAKE 2
Real Mommy: Because I’m exhausted from working all day just to put food on the table for you. Right now, I just want to relax and watch my favorite show, but here you are, bouncing around instead of listening!
4) “I love you so, so much.”
GOOD MOMMY, TAKE 1
Oh, that’s so sweet! Thank you, sweetheart. I love you so, so much too.
(Truthfully, I don’t dislike this, but it tugs at my heartstrings.)
REAL MOMMY, TAKE 2
Mia: Mommy, I love you so, so much.
Real Mommy: Oh, sweetie. Can we stick to “I love you”?
Mia: Why?
Real Mommy: Because when you say “so, so much,” it makes me think about dying early and how you would cope without me. And that thought just breaks my heart.
Mia: Why would you die early?
Real Mommy: Well, life is unpredictable. My dad passed away when he was only 45, and that’s my age now. I sometimes worry about not being around for you.
It’s a tough burden to carry. I’ve already faced health challenges, and I should feel invincible, yet those thoughts linger. But the other night, Mia and I had a humorous exchange that lifted my spirits:
Mia: Mommy, how old will you be in 20 years?
Me: 65.
Mia: And in 40 years?
Me: 85.
Mia: (thinking) That’s old!
Me: It is! I’ll probably be all hunched over!
Mia: (giggling) You might even be dead!
Me: Exactly! I might even be dead! Isn’t that funny?
(Mia laughs, and I can’t help but join in.)
Now, that’s the kind of conversation I love!
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Summary
Parenting can be a rollercoaster of emotions, especially when your child’s innocent questions or requests can sometimes feel overwhelming. While the joys of connection are profound, there are moments of frustration and humor that come with it. This balance creates a unique journey as a parent, reminding us to cherish the little moments.