“Mom, what’s prawnstitution?”
And just like that, we kicked off our first genuine chat about sex, thanks to an episode of Futurama. My son was 10, and until that moment, he had skillfully sidestepped any detailed discussions about sex. A while back, he’d asked my husband why Noah took two of each animal on the ark, and when he learned it was about preserving species, he quickly declared, “I don’t want to hear any more of this…”
But there we were, enjoying a bonding moment in front of the TV (the ultimate setting for heart-to-hearts), and I knew I had to take advantage of this opportunity. After all, who knows what kids are learning in health class these days? I wanted to be proactive.
“Well, a prawn is a type of large shrimp. And prostitution is when individuals—typically women, but not always—engage in sexual activities for money, rather than out of affection.”
He mulled this over, and I encouraged him to ask anything else he might be curious about.
“So, um… Nigel”—I’ve changed the name for privacy; my son has no friends named Nigel—“said something wild. He claimed that a penis gets really big and then goes INSIDE a vagina!”
It seems Nigel had some solid information! (And if his parents are reading this, they won’t know it was their son sharing the scoop since I cleverly went with Nigel.) I confirmed that he was indeed accurate about how things work.
“Really!” he exclaimed, reacting as if he just heard that a not-so-bright acquaintance had won the lottery.
More questions followed. Traditionally, the “birds and the bees” talk is something fathers have with sons and mothers with daughters, but I wasn’t about to search for my husband, especially since the moment felt so right. I wanted to clarify any misconceptions he might have, especially since it was Nigel, not health class, supplying this essential knowledge. I let him know it’s entirely normal to think a lot about sex or not at all, to feel confused or fascinated, and there’s no wrong way to feel about it at his age. Boys can experience unexpected physical reactions, so I touched on that too, explaining how it might happen when they see an attractive girl or even read something intriguing. And yes, dreams about these topics are totally normal.
“Well, THAT’s a relief,” he said, looking pleased but still not making eye contact. Futurama was still playing, with Zoidberg scuttling across the screen.
After a few moments of silence, he asked, “So how often do people have sex?”
Great question—one without a straightforward answer. I explained that it varies from person to person. I avoided diving into the complexities of long-term relationships or the frenzy of new love, instead trying to keep it simple.
“So, do you and Dad have sex?”
“Um, yes. Yes, we do.”
“How often?”
It would’ve been easy to brush this off with a “that’s private” response. I’m fine discussing sex in theory, but sharing details about my personal life with him felt different.
“Well, pretty often. You know, sometimes.”
“Like… when was the last time?”
Oh boy! But it became clear he wasn’t prying; he just wanted context. How often do people actually do it? I remembered my own curiosity as a child when my mom explained periods. I had lots of questions about specifics.
“A couple of days ago,” I replied.
“Really!” he said, echoing that same tone of surprise.
I redirected the conversation back to him, and we sat in silence for a while longer.
“Remember, you can always talk to Dad about this stuff too,” I reminded him.
“I think I’m comfortable talking to you,” he replied.
“Okay.”
“Can we get back to watching Futurama now?”
“Sure!”
And just like that, we navigated The Big Talk—the birds and the bees.
Growing up in the ’70s, I encountered a controversial book named Show Me, which aimed to educate children about sex in an extremely explicit manner. It left my siblings and me horrified and was even banned in many places as child pornography. I still remember nervously asking my mom when I’d have to engage in sexual activities, and her reassuring reply that it wouldn’t happen until I truly wanted it to. “Great!” I said. “Then I’m never going to.” How times have shifted!
With my own kids, I strive to tread that delicate line of reassuring them that sex is a normal and beautiful part of life while also emphasizing that it’s not something they need to be concerned about just yet. I can’t help but worry—are they asking their friends? Will they need therapy because their curiosity was sparked by Futurama?
Who knows? We’re still figuring it out as we go along. If you’d like more insights on family planning, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
In this piece, a mother recounts her experience discussing sex with her 10-year-old son, prompted by a Futurama episode. They navigate challenging questions about sex, relationships, and curiosity, highlighting the changing landscape of sex education from past generations to now. The mother emphasizes the importance of open communication and normalizes the topic, all while balancing the need for privacy and comfort.