Once your little one starts school, they’re swiftly introduced to the concept of the ‘Box Top.’ I can almost picture the scene: on the first day, the teacher welcomes the class, assigns desks, and then immediately emphasizes the significance of THE BOX TOP!
“MOM! It helps our school!”
“Box Tops are funding our new playground!”
“Box Tops will take us to the aquarium!”
“Box Tops SAVE THE WORLD!!”
These are some of the enthusiastic claims my child has made while we shop for groceries.
Now, hold on just a second before you think I’m one of those unsupportive parents (okay, maybe I am a bit unsupportive, but I do care about my child’s school). Let me explain:
My daughter has a puzzling skin condition that no doctor has been able to diagnose. I’ve tried everything from conventional medicine to alternative remedies.
Essential oils? Check. Steroid creams? Yup. Blood tests? Absolutely. Food allergies? You bet.
However, here’s the kicker: have you ever noticed how few organic products have Box Tops? I’ve searched high and low, and there are only about four items that qualify. The best solution for my little one’s itchy skin is sticking to an organic diet. It’s not cheap, and it can be quite the hassle, but she’s my child, and I want her to be comfortable… so organic it is for us.
Organic = No Box Tops
No Box Tops = EVIL PARENT WHO DOESN’T WANT HER CHILD TO GO TO THE AQUARIUM!
I feel like companies like General Mills and the aquarium are conspiring against me. It’s as if they know I’m not going back to buy overpriced churros after watching a documentary about marine life, so they’ve decided to get me with the dreaded Box Top.
To avoid being a total scrooge, I’ve resorted to making trips to Costco to snag products that do come with Box Tops but won’t irritate my daughter’s skin—like Ziploc bags. Each time we go, we stock up enough to last us a lifetime, then promptly dispose of the boxes as soon as we’re home. My daughter happily takes her 12 Box Tops to school the next day, and everyone’s smiling. If there’s ever a shortage of Ziploc bags, just call me—I’ve got enough to supply the entire country for years!
Recently, I’ve realized I can’t keep hoarding any more flattened Ziploc bag boxes in my home. So, I’ve taken it a step further and started searching for Box Tops on eBay. Brilliant, right? I’m currently in a bidding war with another parent for 500 Box Tops. I’m winning, holding strong at $42.00.
After placing my ‘max bid’ on these precious cardboard rectangles that seem to hold immense value, I looked up the actual worth of a Box Top: just TEN CENTS. TEN. CENTS.
If I’d known that each Box Top I was collecting was only worth a dime, I might as well have handed my child eight dimes every time we passed a cereal aisle.
So, since I lost the bidding battle with BoxTopMom4310, I’m pulling out a wrinkled twenty-dollar bill from my wallet, heading to the bank, and asking for exactly two hundred dimes. That should keep me stocked for at least a year, which is essentially two hundred Box Tops!
In conclusion, while the Box Top craze is amusing, it can be quite the challenge for parents who prioritize their children’s health. For more information on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource from the NHS. And if you’re looking for ways to boost fertility, visit Make A Mom for some great supplements.
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