What I Hear vs. What They Say
What I hear: …before breakfast.
What they say: “Never go to bed angry.”
What I hear: …at yourself. Feel free to be mad at him; he was probably being a jerk.
What I hear: …as a family. Let’s avoid being gluttons.
What they say: “Aim for 5 servings of fruits and vegetables daily.”
What I hear: …there’s likely a child on the other side asking for something.
What they say: “When one door closes…”
What I hear: …unless it’s Bradley Cooper, then show him your best moves.
What they say: “Dance like nobody’s watching.”
What I hear: …or it just makes your wine habit stronger.
What they say: “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
What I hear: …a time marathon waiting to happen.
What they say: “Today is the first day of the rest of your life.”
What I hear: …it’s totally fine for your child to eat something off the floor 5 seconds after they spot it, regardless of how long it’s been there.
What they say: “5 Second Rule.”
What I hear: …midlife crisis looming.
What they say: “Happy wife, happy life.”
What I hear: …you know, those things that just magically appear in your pantry, like Cheetos and Nutella.
What they say: “Choose organic.”
What I hear: …or just move the decimal one place and aim for 3.0 minutes a day.
What they say: “Get 30 minutes of cardiovascular exercise each day.”
What I hear: …a sticky mess of melted chocolate on the minivan floor.
What they say: “Life is like a box of chocolates.”
What I hear: …only sweat the big stuff and the small stuff all at once. Usually at 3 a.m.
What they say: “Don’t sweat the small stuff.”
What I hear: …and then make yourself comfy. Maybe bring a pillow for a nap.
What they say: “Take the road less traveled.”
What I hear: …per week.
What they say: “Always aim for at least 8 hours of sleep.”
What I hear: …and don’t forget the vodka.
What they say: “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.”
What I hear: …only pick the battles you can win, and then fight fiercely.
What they say: “Choose your battles wisely.”
What I hear: …and then track how often you pee, reporting it as a fraction using common core math principles.
What they say: “Drink eight 8-ounce glasses of water daily.”
What I hear: …compared to 80.
What they say: “40 is fabulous.”
What I hear: …so definitely go big, because it gets loud and messy at home.
What they say: “Go big or go home.”
Originally published on April 22, 2015, this article offers a humorous spin on the advice we often receive versus what we actually hear as parents. For more insights on home insemination and fertility, check out our other blog posts including this one and for expert advice, visit Make a Mom. If you’re seeking additional resources on pregnancy and home insemination, this article is an excellent choice.